


What Is And What Should Never Be

by SakoAkarui



Series: Footsteps In My Ear [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Slow Burn, never watch a pot boil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 15:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8407657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakoAkarui/pseuds/SakoAkarui
Summary: 6th Year and Sirius's POV. Teenage emotions running high, especially where family is concerned, and not just for Sirius.Second in a series; probably navigable without reading the first but I'm hardly in the place to make that judgement. Remus has a guardian, Aselthorp, but other backstories are canon compliant.





	1. How Many Friends

_August 10, 1977_

__  


The street was dingy. It was dingy and it smelled a bit off, and most of the awnings were faded or torn from age. And that was fantastic.

“Okay, okay. How about,” James said. He bit his lip and looked up at the clouds. “How about R with M.”

“Meally?” Sirius asked. “Okay, I guess we’ll see how mare M is. Mame.”

“Too difficult, Simius?” Sirius couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Om maybe you’re - YOU’M - just too distra— dist’macted.”

“No, I’m not dist’macted,” Sirius replied. “I’m pemfectly p’mepamed to handle this.”

“You’m what?” James asked.

“P’mepamed! What, am I not speaking _cleamly_ enough?” Now they both were snickering. They were also getting a great deal of funny looks, and this was just the kind of day Sirius loved. It was summer, the sky was clear, and he was with James wandering around London. _Muggle_ London. Scandalous.

“Is that the stome theme?” James asked, pointing to the far corner.

“Probably,” Sirius said.

“P’mobably,” James corrected.

“P’mobably,” Sirius repeated. “Let’s just c’moss the str— st’meet almeady.”

It wasn’t a very big store. Sirius ran directly into a table loaded with crates of records upon opening the door. He had to squeeze past a tall, precarious stack of boxes to get to the aisle. Once there, he had free range to peruse the exotic treasures. His fingers trailed over the tops of the records covers. There were so many to pick from. The music playing overhead was spot on as well. Sirius considered going up and asking if whoever was playing on the radio had a record he could buy somewhere in the store. That at least would give him a clue on where to even _start_. He wished Remus were here.

“Simius,” James said, turning a record towards Sirius. “What am I looking at?”

“It’s a naked woman, James,” came a voice from behind Sirius. Sirius nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand landed on his shoulder. “I understand that you are unfamiliar with the concept, and since you will probably never see one for real, I suggest buying the record.”

“Memus!” Sirius cried, throwing his arm around Remus’s shoulder and squeezing in a one-armed hug. The fates had answered him! Now he could find the best records. This was a great day.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually prefer being called Moony,” Remus replied. He looked uncomfortable, so Sirius dropped his arm and leaned against the crates instead.

“What ame you doing heme?” James asked.

“Are my ears broken?” Remus asked, looking between them with concern. James rolled his eyes. “Because you are more nonsensical than usual.”

“You’m no fun, you know that?” James said with exasperation. “I _said_ what are you doing here?”

“Oh. Aselthorp didn’t come back this morning, so I gave myself the day off,” Remus said. “Thought I’d join you, if only to keep you from complaining come September.”

“I wouldn’t complain,” Sirius said dismissively.

“Yes you would,” James said. He perched himself on a windowsill and slouched in mockery of Sirius’s own nonchalant demeanor. “You’d sit on that table in the common room and say, ‘why wouldn’t Remus just come to London. It’d be just a day, and he can spare a day to be with uuuuuuuus.’”

“I don’t sound like that,” Sirius mumbled, but it was probably inaudible under Remus’s laughter. Which was fine because at least they’d managed to get Remus to laugh. Sirius supposed he could sacrifice his pride for that. He was a martyr. A noble martyr for his dear, heartless friends.

“‘ _Sirius_ ,’” he returned, affecting James’s tone to the best of his ability, which by this time was at a master’s level. “‘My mum sent the walnut cookies, and she _knows_ I like the hazelnut ones the best! And my owl’s already out so I can’t ask her to fix it, can I borrow _yours?’”_

“My god, do I get paid to babysit?” Remus asked. He was flipping through the records absently.

“No,” Sirius said frankly. “What’s that one?”

“The one with the crawling naked albinos?” Remus asked blankly. He pulled it out and handed it over. Sirius flipped it but there wasn’t much clue as to what he was holding. Well, except a back-to-back image of small pale children climbing a rust red mountain for no reason whatsoever. He carefully pulled out the record to read the title ‘Houses of the Holy’. What that had to do with pale naked children was a mystery.

Muggles were strange and funny creatures.

“Here we go,” Remus said. He held up a tan album: The Who by Numbers. “And it comes with an activity for the perpetually infantile!”

“Bagsies on the children’s activity,” James said, looking through records. He pulled out another — also featuring a naked woman. Sirius frowned at the pile of records featuring naked women James had pulled. Sirius was upset that he hadn’t thought of that first.

“So you know that one?” Sirius asked. Remus shrugged and tilted his head to read the list of songs on the back.

“I know Squeeze Box. That’s actually it off of this one. Squeeze Box is good, though.” Remus leaned forward to look around Sirius and frown disapprovingly at James.

“Well, I’ll take that one then,” Sirius said, taking the record from Remus. “James, give me one of yours.”

“Get your own pile of naked birds,” James said.

“You’re not going to buy all of them, are you?” Remus asked. “You don’t even have a record player.”

“I could hang ‘em up in my room,” James said.

“And if your _mum_ came in…” James moved his hands away from the pile of records.

“Yeah, well, I guess if they’re meant to be _played_ …”

Sirius shuffled through the collection. He was impressed with how quickly James had worked. Enterprising boy.

“Didn’t know you’d get James to come down. Might not have worked so hard coming to meet you myself if I’d’ve known,” Remus said.

“You had to come!” Sirius cried. “You’re the _expert_! That one,” Sirius jabbed a finger in James’s direction, “is the entemtainment.”

“Sirius is staying at mine,” James said blithely. “Not likely he could skive off without me. Hey, you should come up for dinner.”

“I’m really fine,” Remus said. “I can make do on my own.”

“I’m not going to take no for an answer,” James said. Remus eyed him warily.

“You’re going to hex me and drag me there, aren’t you?”

“Moony,” Sirius said, acting appalled. “Are you suggesting we would use magic? _Illegally?_ It’s _summer_.”

“You two would do it anyway,” Remus replied. “Actually, I think the illegality would only increase your motivation.”

“So you’re coming?” James asked with a grin.

“As if I had a choice,” Remus sighed. Then his face lit up. He pulled a dark colored record from the bins.

“Whassat then?” Sirius asked, looking over Remus’s shoulder. He had already pulled a couple of records from James’s pile at random.

“Tommy,” Remus said quietly. “Always wanted to hear the whole album through. They play bits from it on the radio sometimes.”

“Alright,” Sirius said, snatching the album from Remus’s hands. “Winning endorsement for the Black collection.

“And what if I wanted it?” Remus asked, but Sirius knew he was bluffing. Remus never bought something he couldn’t use. And Remus had nothing to spin a record on.

“Now you just have to come by ours and listen to it all the time on my turntable. If you’ll excuse…”

Sirius maneuvered his way through the shop to a man at a counter in the back. Whoever he was, the bloke looked sickly. Vacant eyes, tattoos down his neck. Probably kept going under the shirt. There was an idea: tattoos. Sirius should consider tattoos. He wondered how muggles did it.

“Hallo hallo,” Sirius said cheerfully as he placed the records down.

“Hallo,” came the hollow reply. He began to pick through the albums and type into the large metal contraption on the desk. “Bit of a mix, yeah?” Sirius shrugged.

“Jay!” Remus called from another part of the tiny shop.

“Yeah… Oh, Rem. What are you doing in these parts?”

“Skiving off. Is this the Clash?”

“First album, yeah. Came out March. Hey, didn’t you hear them?” Remus nodded. He came over and held the album out to Sirius.

“Black Swan a year ago. They were the premier then. Sirius, add this on the pile.”

“Friend of yours?” asked Jay, gesturing at Sirius. He seemed to have woken up considerably for Remus.

“He’s very obedient. Whossa good boy?” Remus loosely scratched at Sirius’s head, and Sirius batted the hand away.

“Yeah, hilarious,” Sirius said.

“Just didn’t expect Remus to have such a clean mate around.”

“Clean?” Sirius asked.

“Shut it, Jay. I can make friends wherever I want,” Remus replied. He leaned over the counter lazily, poking at the pictures pasted below the counter. “Is that you and Sarah?”

“Anne,” Jay said. “Crazy night. Wish you didn’t come and go like random. But since you’re in town, there’s a thing next Wednesday…” Remus shook his head.

“One night only affair. But we’ll see what we can do when Aselthorp comes around hisself.” Jay nodded and handed the bag of records to Sirius.

“Well, happy to meet a friend of this nutcase,” Jay said to Sirius in a friendly manner. “Take care with those.” Remus led the way out, a puzzled Sirius in tow. There had never been any consideration of Remus with friends outside of Hogwarts. In Sirius’s mind, it was only horrible, grueling work under the harsh commands of Mr. Aselthorp, Pest-Control Tyrant, and then howling moons chained to who knew what anymore. There wasn’t really room for friends and birds and apparently _parties_. Is that why Remus had gone off with Eona and her crowd? Did Remus get spectacularly drunk every summer? Why didn’t he invite them? Sirius couldn’t really stand birds like Eona, but it’d be a laugh with James and Remus there.

James was outside, face to the sun like a lizard splayed out on a rock. The sound of the door closing caused him to turn.

“Success?”

“Success,” Sirius agreed, but the narrowing of James’s eyes was enough that Sirius recognized the understanding. Sirius was on the path to brooding, and James knew it. Which was probably what prompted James into his ever growing list of methods to stop Sirius from brooding at all times over anything whatsoever. James pulled a record from the bag.

“Anyone for frisbee?”

“WHAT?!” Sirius exploded even as James — and Remus the traitor — laughed.


	2. Bring It On Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title and this chapter are Led Zeppelin. First Chapter was The Who

_August 10, 1977 (Still)_

  


“MUM!” James yelled upon opening the door. Sirius followed on past and went straight for the kitchen. It was so clean and bright — sunny yellow walls, white counters, and light colored wood floors — that it was quite possibly Sirius’s favorite room. Sirius opened a jar, took one of Mrs. Potter’s homemade cookies, then went back up the hall to where James was looking up the stairwell. He frowned at Remus standing in the open doorway.

“Come in already. Planning to leave the door open all day?” Sirius asked and took a bite of the cookie. Remus took a few quick steps forward and closed the door.

“Hm,” James said. “Must be busy with something. Oh, cookie.” James snatched the remaining half of Sirius’s cookie and promptly engulfed it.

“You’re such a prat,” Sirius said. “There’s a whole _jar_.”

“Bu’ i’s way over d’ere,” James said around the cookie.

“Who’s this then?” Mrs. Potter said in her cheerful, lilting, bubbly voice as she appeared at the top of the stairs. She was lean like James, but her dark hair was cut with gray streaks and managed to make fly-away look like careless precision. Sirius liked Mrs. Potter. She was perpetually cheerful. There wasn’t a thing in creation that could keep Mrs. Potter from looking at things positively, which Sirius was inordinately impressed by. She had Remus in a hug with a kiss on his cheek before Remus could even hope to protest.

“Remus is going to stay for dinner,” James stated. “He met us in town. That’s fine, yeah?”

“Of course it’s fine, Bambi! My, windy out?” Mrs. Potter began to mess with James’s hair as if it were fixable. Sirius saw Remus’s face over Mrs. Potter’s shoulder.

‘Bambi?’ Remus mouthed, pointing at James. Sirius nodded.

“Not a worry, Remus,” Mrs. Potter said. “Always room for one more! Weren’t you the one who told them about that music shop? Wonderful. Hm, but I had best check in and make sure dinner’s coming along.” As soon as Mrs. Potter had planted a kiss on James cheek — which had been tolerated with a heavy sigh — and moved on, James turned on Remus with an expression dark enough to set fear into the hearts of men. Fortunately Remus was a wolf and Sirius knew he himself to be a god, both therefore immune.

“You say a word Lupin, and I’ll have your tongue nailed over my bed as a warning to all.”

“I thought Sirius had made that name up last year, after…,” Remus said, laughing

“Oh, no,” Sirius said. “He’s always been mummy’s precious widdle Bambi!” James swatted at Sirius’s face, and in return Sirius grabbed James’s shirt, trying to pull James off balance. The ensuing scuffle caused both of them to fall, knocking a side table — and a large pile of mail — to the floor.

“What are you two up to?” came Mrs. Potter’s voice. Sirius thought she sounded far too amused for someone whose defenseless belongings had just been caught in a manly battle.

“Nothing!” James said. He hopped up and began collecting the mail.

“Momma’s boy,” Sirius said to Remus, earning a smack in the face from a large stack of letters.Once everything was sorted, James led the way down the hall, through the kitchen, dining room, and back sitting room, until he was outside in the backyard of the residence.

“It’s a nice house,” Remus said once they were outside.

“Mm, yeah, suppose,” James replied. “But who wants to be inside on a day like this. Look at that sky!”

“I call that my bedroom ceiling,” Remus said. “I’m sure you can see how I’m less enamored.”

“Sirius, we should do that!” James yelled. He ran over to a bench in the yard and lay down.

“Do what?” Sirius asked.

“Sleep outside!” Sirius frowned. That was not an idea he really wanted to be a part of.

“If you’re going to, you’d best try while summer’s still on. It’s just going to get colder from here on out,” Remus told James.

“We can do it tonight,” James said, but Sirius decided to intervene.

“No, I don’t want to do that,” Sirius replied, words clipped. “We made beds for a reason, didn’t we?”

“It’ll be fun,” James said. “Besides, I’ve seen you sleep on a desk.”

“Class is boring. And I was still _inside_.”

“Let’s bring the beds out, then,” James suggested. Remus rolled his eyes.

“I don’t want to sleep outside, James!” Sirius said. “You can if you want, but I’m staying in.”

“It’s really not fun, James,” Remus said. “I’ve got a bedroll and things besides.”

“I can get those,” James said, sitting up.

“Remus!” Sirius said, looking for anything to change the subject. “You know the record shop guy!” James frowned at Sirius suspiciously.

“Jay? Oh, yeah,” Remus said. “He’s a muggle.”

“Is he?” Sirius asked. Remus nodded. “Is there more to this story?”

“I… guess?” Remus said. “Nothing important. His cousin’s family have a place in the country. They’re muggleborn. We cleaned up an infestation at their place. The cousin introduced us, and we hit it off talking about music. Is that enough story?”

“I guess,” Sirius said. “So you go to things with them?”

“Sirius, you know I don’t come into London often.”

“Wow, I love being a part of this conversation,” James said. “But let’s try a better one. Hey, Remus, exchanging letters with Evans?”

“I hate the pair of you,” Remus said emphatically. “Is dinner ready yet? I understand I can’t leave until that’s through.”

“You could just stay, too,” James said. “You could sleep outside here!”

“No,” Remus said flatly. “Outright no. I need to slowly increase my tolerance of the both of you. All at once and I might die. So I must decline.”

“What are you boys doing out there!” came Mrs. Potter’s voice from the window.

“Just enjoying the sun, mum!” James yelled back.

“Well, it’s time to wash up. Come in already!” James rolled his eyes but reentered the house. James spent approximately two seconds washing his hands, leaving Sirius and Remus to demonstrate appropriate cleanliness. Remus spent an inordinate amount of time trying to get the dirt from under his nails.

“You don’t have to get all of it,” Sirius said. Remus looked pink.

“I know. It’s just… being thorough I guess.” Sirius shrugged. He held a hand towel for Remus to use and led the way to the dinner table. Mr. Potter was already there. He was cleaning his glasses with a cleaning cloth when they came in, but he looked up with interest when they entered.

“Is this our second guest?” Mr. Potter asked. “Maybe we should convert to a bed and breakfast.”

“He’s just staying for dinner,” Sirius said, sitting.

“He might change his mind,” James replied. His father chuckled.

“Well, the door’s open if you want to stay… Remus?” Mr. Potter replaced his glasses and looked between his son and Remus questioningly.

“Yes, I’m Remus,” he said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“We love meeting James’s friends!” Mrs. Potter said, coming in with a platter levitating before her. “So the pleasure is entirely ours. I’m happy you were able to find a wizard shop in London for these two to safely buy some of those muggle records. Sirius was very excited over it.”

Remus shot Sirius and James a questioning look which was blithely ignored.

“ _All_ of London is safe. No dark wizards would attack _London_ ,” James said. “It’d be… anti-British. Or something.”

“This isn’t a joke,” Mr. Potter said. “I want both of you — no, all _three_ of you — to keep out of trouble. Not worth it with what’s been in the news.”

“What’s happened now?” Remus asked.

“You didn’t see the papers?” Sirius asked. He stood to get the most recent headlines: the biggest attack on a muggle village had occurred the day before. Eight dead, thirty-two injured. Sirius could see the color draining from Remus’s face as he read.

“Besides, James,” Mr. Potter continued, “you have more important things to consider than trying to find odd muggle places to wander. You’re starting NEWTs…”

“Muuuuum,” James whined. “Isn’t there a rule about controversial topics at the dinner table?”

“Not with family, dear,” Mrs. Potter tutted. “But Remus! I’d love to hear more about you!”

“There’s really not much to know, ma’am,” Remus said politely.

“Lupin’s not a name I recognize,” Mr. Potter said. “Unique.”

“Oh,” Remus said. Sirius thought he looked embarrassed. “Yes, it’s a… small family…”

“Remus lives in the muggle world,” Sirius said.

“No I don’t,” Remus snapped. Sirius frowned.

“But you know all those muggle things,” Sirius reasoned. Remus shrugged.

“We kind of live between, I guess,” Remus said.

“Oh,” Mrs. Potter said with surprise. “Are you half-blooded?”

“Mum, don’t embarrass him,” James said.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” she said. “I only meant that would explain how he knows about muggle things. I don’t care what your bloodline is, Remus.” Sirius was curious now, though. He actually didn’t have a clue what Remus’s bloodline was like. Would never make a difference, of course. Sirius looked at Remus, wondering what the Lupins had been like before they died. Sirius always assumed Remus’s parents would’ve been sweet, loving people. They could’ve even died when Remus was bitten, he realized. He wondered if he could ask Remus about it at some point.

“Well, yes, my mum’s side has muggles in it…” Remus began.

“Remus’s parents are dead,” Sirius said by way of explanation. His foot was promptly squashed by Remus’s heel.

“Oh dear, I didn’t mean to bring up such things…” Mrs. Potter said, waving her hand swiftly, as if the conversation was smoke in the air between them and her fanning could banish it. “I’ll stop being so nosy.”

“It’s fine, Mrs. Potter,” Remus said politely. Then he smiled. “Actually, I’d love to hear more about _James_. He must’ve been an exciting child to have around.”

“Bambi has _always_ been exciting, but you know what they say. There’s only one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it,” Mrs. Potter began. Talking about James was her favorite subject, and Sirius knew this well. Even with James’s attempts to change the subject, Remus learned just about every little embarrassing secret Sirius had amassed, and even wheedled a few new ones out.

They would probably be paying for this later.

  


*****

  


“I really have to leave,” Remus said once dinner was finished. He had the Daily Prophet in his hands and was wringing it anxiously. He had almost made it to the front door, but James was still trying to get him to stay.

“Don’t you want to see the look on Sirius’s face as he tries out those new records?” James said. Remus avoided looking at them.

“I’m sure it’ll be great and you’ll tell me all about it.”

“If you’re worried about how late it is, then just stay in one of the spare bedrooms.”

“You’ll be the death of me, won’t you?” Remus snapped. “You’ll just say, hey, Remus, you can lie in this grave, we have plenty. And when I say no, you’ll just knock me out and I’ll wake up six feet under.”

“Come on, Remus, I wouldn’t bury you _alive_ ,” James said, rolling his eyes. Remus didn’t look remotely amused at that.

“What is it?” Sirius asked. “Why are you suddenly so jumpy?”

“I just,” Remus started. Then he unfurled the paper and shoved it into Sirius’s hands. “We were there.”

“You were _where?”_ Sirius asked. “You were there when…”

“No!” Remus said. “No, we were there before. A few days before the attack. But I still know that area. We had lunch in that shop.”

“Well, now you need to stay,” James said in a tone that left no room for argument. Or shouldn’t have.

“What?” Remus asked. “No, now I need to go! We’re staying not far from there now.”

“I’m siding with James on the staying concept,” Sirius said. “You’re not going out there to be attacked!”

“And what if Aselthorp is back?”

“Then the git can take care of himself!” Sirius yelled. Remus just shook his head.

“I’m going. I just… I have to go. Thanks for dinner.” Remus dove for the door but Sirius stepped in the way.

“Wait,” Sirius said.

“Get out of my way, Sirius.”

“No!” Remus had his wand out, pointed at Sirius’s face, and Sirius’s eyebrows shot up. He never even saw Remus reach for his wand.

“Sirius. Get out of my way. I’m going back to find my guardian.” Sirius met Remus’s eyes and caved. He dropped his eyes to the floor as his muscles relaxed; his shoulders slumped, his face fell.

“Remus, I just… write, okay?”

“Write?” Remus asked. Sirius let out all the air from his lungs. Why was Remus always so difficult…

“To let us know you’re okay?” Remus’s face softened, too.

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll write. Stop looking so worried. I doubt they’d attack any of the types of places me and Aselthorp frequent.” Sirius stepped aside and Remus left. James came forward and they watched as Remus called down the Knight Bus and stepped on board.

“We should’ve stopped him,” James said. Sirius shrugged.

“Don’t know how we could have.”

“What do you mean?” James asked. “I expected _you_ to knock him out.”

“So he could hate me?” Sirius asked. “I think he was really worried about that horrible man.”

“Of course he’s worried about his guardian,” James said. “Aselthorp takes care of him.”

There was a long pause, and then James pushed the door closed. It was likely a testament to Sirius’s worry that his temper didn’t flare over the reference to Aselthorp in any way remotely non-negative. James pulled at Sirius’s sleeve.

“Come on, let’s go see if any of those records are any good.”


	3. No Reply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Beatles

_Sent August 11, 1977 by an owl of the Littleport remote owl post office_

_Sent August 12, 1977 by a Potter family owl; returned to sender after failure to find the recipient_

_ _

_Sent August 18, 1977 by an owl of the Litlington owl post office_

_ _

_Sent August 19, 1977 by a Potter family owl to Litlington owl post office_

_ _

_Sent August 23, 1977 by a privately owned owl_

_ _

_Sent August 24, 1977 by a Potter family owl_

_ _

_Sent August 25, 1977 with the return of the previous letter_

_ _

_Sent August 28, 1977 by a privately owned owl_

_ _


	4. Tired of Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kinks. Also, a playlist for the fic: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976

_September 1, 1977_

__  


Sirius kept pacing the room, crossing in front of the fireplace repeatedly. His trunk was packed and waiting. Mr. Potter was in the dining room, but he could just see Sirius from his vantage point and frowned over his newspaper at the nervous behavior. James and Mrs. Potter could be heard upstairs. James was not packed. Sirius knew families would be arriving at King’s Cross already for the train. He knew they weren’t going to be late — plenty of time left for that — but the sporadic, one-sided contact from Remus had been nerve-wracking. He knew he’d feel better as soon as he saw his friend. Especially because the full had been just three days past.

Why was James so _insufferable_?

Sirius huffed and took off up the stairs to James’s room. James was throwing things in his trunk, and Mrs. Potter was subsequently spelling and sorting the various things he threw in an attempt to gain some organization.

“James, if you don’t pack this properly, you’ll only break your things.”

“Mum, I think I’m old enough to be left alone to pack my own trunk!” James threw one of his books at the trunk viciously. It landed and fell open, the pages crumpling under the cover’s weight. Sirius groaned.

“I’d leave you alone if you would pack it when I told you to!” Mrs. Potter snapped back.

“James,” Sirius said, his eyes pleading. “Mate, _please_ , can we just do this without fighting?”

James glared at Sirius, but relented.

“Fine! Everyone’s against me anyway.” Sirius tried not to get too annoyed with James; getting annoyed would bring them to a fight, probably, and that’d take _even more time_. He’d get annoyed at James later. Instead, he started gathering James’s things to put in his trunk. He grabbed a book from the desk and placed it in the trunk with the book James had thrown. A pile of robes hit his head and he knew James had done that on purpose. The weight lifted off of Sirius as Mrs. Potter used her wand to fold the robes and drop them neatly into the trunk. Sirius smiled up at her in thanks. James was making a series of annoyed, frustrated scoffing sounds in lieu of continuing the argument with his mother. Sirius wondered how hard he’d have to hit James in the back of the head in order to get it through his thick skull that he was the last person everyone was ‘against’.

“Sirius, where did I put my potions kit?”

“Probably in the most absurd place possible,” Sirius replied.

“I’ll check downstairs,” Mrs. Potter said. “But you need to take better care of your things, James!”

“Honestly,” James said as soon as she was out of earshot. “I’m sixteen years old, Sirius. _Sixteen years_ and I’m still getting told how to fold my clothes by my mother. I just want a little freedom here, is that so much? The freedom to pack my own _sodding_ trunk?” James knelt down on the floor and looked under his bed.

“You want to trade?” Sirius asked darkly. James turned to him sheepishly.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” James said. “Besides, I think my mum likes you better.”

“That’s impossible,” Sirius said. “You’re a literal angel to her.”

“Oh, no, you’ve been the good boy since you’ve gotten here,” James said. “Helping with the _dishes,_ complimenting the _food_ ,… If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re out to replace me.”

“Just appreciating,” Sirius said stiffly. He shifted some books in the trunk to make room for the potions kit only to see it in the bottom of the trunk. “James, the kit’s already in here.”

“Is it?” James asked brightly. “Well, there we go! Let’s just close the trunk and go. If I forgot something they can send it. I _hate_ packing.” Sirius took one handle and James took the other; together they made the way downstairs. They assured James’s parents that they’d gotten everything, and Sirius stepped up to the floo eagerly. There was a rush of fire and spinning, and then he was out on the platform, James and his parents close behind. King’s Cross was busy, but not ridiculously so. Still, Sirius couldn’t see Remus immediately as they came down the platform. Too many people…

“Do you think he’d already be on the train?” Sirius asked. He turned back and felt embarrassed to see Mrs. Potter looking at him fondly.

“I’m sure he’s fine, Sirius. You’ll find him soon enough,” she said. She exchanged a look with her husband before she placed a hand on James’s shoulder. “Let’s find a compartment for you to stow your trunks in.”

“We’ll just find where Remus is and put our trunks _there_ ,” James said as she turned him away, but Mr. Potter came up to Sirius with a solemn expression.

“Sirius,” he said, stepping close and gripping Sirius’s shoulder, “I want you to promise me you’ll take care of yourself, and that you’ll contact if there’s anything we can do for you.”

“Of course,” Sirius said. His face felt horribly warm; Sirius looked at the ground in embarrassment. “You know we can take care of ourselves.”

“I was hoping to hear the full promise,” Mr. Potter said. Sirius looked up at him; Mr. Potter was smiling softly. “The exact words, actually.”

“I promise,” Sirius said. At the flicker of annoyance on Mr. Potter’s face, Sirius continued. “I promise to contact you if I need anything.”

“Was that so hard?” Mr. Potter asked with a grin. He looked very much like James in that moment: just the same expression James had when he’d gotten his way, like he knew he would from the start. “You look as if I’ve asked you to promise to stay out of trouble.”

“You didn’t?” Sirius asked.

“I’m hoping you’ll have the good sense to keep trouble to a minimum,” Mr. Potter said cautiously. “And James will know nothing on this. When he asks, I asked you to keep him out of trouble entirely since he is clearly the instigator.”

“He is,” Sirius said with a straight face. “I’m corrupted by his bad influence.”

Mr. Potter laughed with good humor and pulled Sirius into an unexpected hug. Sirius returned it hesitantly before Mr. Potter pulled away.

“Try and be a good one on him, then. Go on, find your friends.” Sirius went to pick up his trunk, looking for James and Mrs. Potter. James was lifting his trunk up onto the train, his mother standing below. As soon as he got close, Sirius was enveloped in one of Mrs. Potter’s generous hugs. He was starting to anticipate those now.

“I am so happy James had his friends over! And you were a pleasure to have around.” She pulled back and looked at Sirius fondly.

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Sirius said. His face still felt warm from the attention.

“It was nothing,” she said. “You at least behave.”

“Mum!” James yelled from the train. “Don’t insult him!”

Mr. Potter helped Sirius get his own trunk up into the train, and then they were waving goodbye. James was impatient to end the farewells, though, and tugged Sirius along behind him down the train corridor.

“What’d dad want?” James asked.

“Oh, I’m replacing you,” Sirius said.

They traveled along the corridor, looking in the compartments until they finally found him. Remus, as promised, was curled up on the seats. He had a thin pillow and a couple of sweaters out as a cushion for his head. Sirius snapped the door closed and woke Remus up; he gaped in surprise until he recognized his friends.

“Hallo. Good few weeks then?” Remus asked.

“No!” Sirius replied hotly. “You think we’d have a good couple of weeks getting letters like those?”

“Sirius,” James said, warningly. “I’m sorry, Remus, he’s been mental about this.”

“I’m mental, what about what your dad said?” Sirius asked. Remus leveled James with a cool expression.

“Oh?” Remus asked. James busied himself getting his trunk into the compartment, which conveniently kept him from having to look at anyone.

“It’s nothing,” James said. “We were just asking him, because I’ve never had this problem with owls not finding people. He said there are ways to do it…”

“But only criminals use them!” Sirius finished for him.

“You’re saying I’m a criminal?” Remus asked calmly.

“No, Arse-lthorp is,” Sirius said.

“Why don’t you just tell us what really happened so Sirius will finally believe me when I say he’s making everything up?” James asked. “Because I’m tired of hearing Sirius’s side of this story.”

“Not much to tell it seems,” Remus said. “We have been found out. We are nasty, hardened criminals. I couldn’t stay at yours because we had a heist planned. We teamed up with two rogue centaurs and set about to break into Gringotts.”

“You should write,” James said. Sirius was infuriated.

“Why can’t you just tell us what actually happened?”

“But I thought you knew everything about Mr. Aselthorp,” Remus said, lying back down. “You’ve quite the opinion for someone who’s never exchanged a word.”

Sirius was about to start into Mr. Aselthorp again, but a flash of gold caught his eye. James had pulled out that snitch and was preceding to release and catch it: it had become his new bored habit since nicking it at the end of the previous school year. It was also James’s new way to express frustration with Sirius, seeing as it drove him mental.

“Are you going to mess with that the whole way?”

“If necessary.”

Sirius decided the time had come to get annoyed with James. They had the whole train ride, after all.


	5. Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Beatles. Playlist updated: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976

_September 25, 1977_

 

Sirius was woken up far too early on a Sunday, meaning he was woken up by somebody else and didn’t get to just stay in bed until lunch. Specifically he was woken by sharp claw hands in his skin and a ropey tail hitting his face.

“Ugh, ugh!” Sirius yelled. “Wormtail! What is your issue?”

He could hear James laughing. This was probably all _his_ fault. Sirius opened his eyes and looked around the room. James’s things, as usual, dominated. Sirius was positive James’s trunk was empty, considering the spread. Books were also scattered, and Sirius assumed those were also James’s copies. In actuality, none of the three of them were really sure which books were whose. Sirius was tempted to say that their charms books had round robin’ed a dozen times over the years without them noticing. Defence less so: they had a tendency to write in the margins on those. They had whole epics penned into various history books — conversations from ignored lectures. But this early in the year, if it was scattered, it was probably James’s. Sirius kept everything in his trunk or in the drawers — once there the world was chaos. Peter must’ve had a system of some sort, since he didn’t seem to lose his things, but hell if Sirius had paid attention to _that_.

“Sorry,” Peter said, rising from the floor across the room and pointing at James. “He made me!”

“You’re no fun,” James said, taking a pack of ice mice from his side table and hurling it half-heartedly at Peter.

“What time is it?” Sirius asked, sitting up and yawning.

“Eleven twenty,” James said. Sirius groaned.

“Why did you wake me at _eleven_?” Sirius asked. _Too early_.

“So we could talk about Tuesday,” James said simply.

“Tuesday?” Peter asked.

“The full,” Sirius said shortly. “Honestly, how thick are you?”

“But what’s to plan?” Peter asked. “We did this before summer.”

“And it’s the _first_ of the year,” James said. “We should do something more exciting. We don’t have class that afternoon—”

“I have class,” Sirius said. James frowned.

“Well, you’re the stupid one who took classes I wasn’t in.”

“I think you’re the stupid one for failing to compete on my level.”

“Having a stupid contest is actually my worst nightmare,” Peter said. “Could we not do that?”

“Why are we even having this meeting without Remus?” Sirius asked. “Don’t we need to include him in planning?”

“Not if we’re surprising him,” James answered. Sirius groaned again.

“It sounds like you already have ideas for what you want to do. It’s a testament to our friendship that I’ll trust you to plan this on your own. Surprise me as well.” Sirius sank back into his pillow, but he knew getting back to sleep was impossible at this point. Damn Potter.

“Okay, then you go find Remus and get him here to discuss the moon,” James said.

“He’ll love that,” Sirius said into his pillow. He wasn’t sure what James even wanted anymore. Probably just to have an audience. Still, if he wasn’t getting sleep…

Sirius rose from bed and went about getting dressed. Remus had gone all swotty again and it was about time Sirius updated him on life’s many advances. He pulled their initial draft of the map to verify that Remus wasn’t in the Tower. Great. Now he’d have to guess. On a whim, he slipped the map into his bag as well. He barely managed a sluggish wave on his way out. He knocked on the other dorm then ducked his head in to catch sight of Andy doing up his shoes.

“Do you know where Remus went off to?” Sirius asked. Andy looked up and shrugged.

“No, but his books aren’t here. Maybe try the library?”

“Yeah, good idea,” Sirius replied. He moved to leave, but Andy called him back.

“If you see him,” Andy asked, “remind him about that Defence project? I’m worried he’ll get sick like he always does and I’ll have to do the whole thing myself.”

“He won’t leave it all to you,” Sirius said with confidence. “He’s a good friend. But I’ll let him know.” Sirius left the tower, bent on the library. Remus _was_ sitting in the library: sitting, not reading. He was staring daggers at a group of first year Hufflepuffs. Sirius sat down on the table, startling Remus out of his daze.

“‘Lo. Morning,” Sirius said cheerfully.

“Afternoon,” Remus said shortly.

“Not quite yet. Shall I interrupt your lecherous attempts?” Remus looked at Sirius in abject shock and disgust.

“ _What_ do you mean by that?”

“Never mind,” Sirius said dismissively. Apparently today twat Remus was in full swing. “Say, do you want to have a chat? James was trying to think up something for Tuesday with you in mind.”

“‘Course he is,” Remus said darkly.

“You know you like having us along,” Sirius said good-naturedly. Remus was even less amused than usual. “What’s wrong then? You don’t even seem apathetic, you seem…”

“I’m _fine_ ,” Remus said hotly. “Whatever James is planning, then fine, it’ll be _fine._ So. What else do you want?”

Sirius considered. There was an awful lot that he wanted. What Remus could provide was another question.

“I’m bored. I want to do anything that does not involve classes or listening to James ramble. Wanna come and find some rooms to add to the map?” That sounded more interesting than sitting and discussing ideas for the full with James, who clearly just wanted to hear his own voice at the moment. Maybe it’d calm Remus down, too. Whatever he was upset about.

“Yeah. Yes. I want to do that,” Remus said. He put his things in his bag and marched out of the library. It was all Sirius could do to keep up.

“You really want to win that bet,” Sirius commented.

“What?” Remus asked. He looked at Sirius in confusion, then nodded. “Oh. The map bet. Yes, I want to win that. Isn’t there anything else happening? What have _you_ been doing lately?”

“Other than a nasty amount of coursework?” Sirius asked. He’d been under no false impressions concerning NEWTs courses. He knew the ‘free periods’ came at a price. Still, at least the topics had become more interesting. “Hm. Well, I heard Alexis has been practically attached to Karla Keen’s side all year, and people wonder if she’s after Keen’s boyfriend.”

“How’s the situation between her and James?” Remus asked. He was leading them down into the lower floors, Sirius noted with a frown.

“It’s fine. James was just being dramatic, and he wasn’t even looking for you after the break-up. He’d been out flying over the pitch, with Peter practically wetting himself cheering over it. Still wonder why Alexis broke it off.”

“Lily said Alexis just wasn’t interested in it anymore,” Remus said. “Sometimes things are really simple.”

“So you’ll talk to Evans but not to me, eh?”

“ _Lily_ told _me_. That’s generally how my friendships work.”

“I’ve noticed,” Sirius said dryly. Sirius paused momentarily when he saw two Slytherins turn the corner, recognizing his brother with mild concern. He tried to act like he hadn’t noticed, stepping swiftly closer to Remus’s right side while his brother and his friend passed on the other.

“Besides, things are _never simple_ ,” Sirius continued. “I mean, we thought you were just a jumpy, scared, starchy eleven-year-old and look how interesting _you_ turned out.” He passed Regulus and relaxed minutely. Then, he saw his brother turn away from his friend at the edge of his vision.

“Sirius.” Regulus didn’t give any clue as to his feelings, at least none Sirius could tell upon turning to address him. Regulus always stood a little unsteady, shifting his weight and straining for height. And so Sirius didn’t really know what to expect.

“I’m a little busy, Regulus,” Sirius said, feigning boredom. He heard Remus turn back towards him as well, waiting.

“I just wanted to know if you were coming home for Christmas,” Regulus said. “You’re a bit unpredictable, but I thought asking would be the most _sensible_ way of figuring this out.” Sirius saw red.

“I’ll spend Christmas wherever I want,” Sirius replied hotly. “In fact, I’d been meaning to stay _here_. So go report that, since that’s the only reason you’re asking.” Sirius didn’t know what to make of Regulus’s reaction. The boy couldn’t decide whether he wanted to keep eye contact with Sirius or look anywhere else, and so Regulus’s eyes darted to Sirius’s own then quickly away again.

“Of course. Why else would I ask?” Regulus said stiffly, then turned back to his friend. Sirius did the same. Remus was looking at Sirius in a way he never had before.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“Nothing,” Remus said, turning pink. “Er, you don’t have to stay over Christmas. I appreciate it, but you don’t have to.”

“Trust me, I _want_ to stay here,” Sirius said. He didn’t think he’d ever said a truer statement. Remus smiled.

“Guess it’ll make a full moon on Christmas slightly more bearable,” Remus said in a whisper. Sirius hadn’t even looked that far on the chart, but everything considered, he wasn’t surprised Remus had. Sirius smiled back, determined not to think about his brother.

“We’ll have the run of the school; the break will be fantastic! Just you wait.” And Sirius was _absolutely_ determined to make it as fantastic as possible.


	6. I'm A Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By The Who. http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976 
> 
> And I swear I'm alive and posting.

_June 13, 1966_

 

“And the Hungarian Horntail rises up in the sky, ready to strike!” Sirius balanced precariously on the back of the sofa, spread his arms like wings, and drew in as much air as possible to let out a(n imaginary) burst of fire. But Regulus waved an imaginary wand at Sirius who promptly gripped his heart, jumped with a cry of defeat, and fell soundly onto the deep sofa cushions. Regulus laughed happily at the show.

“Boys!” the sharp voice of their mother came from the doorway. “Sirius, you know full well that _furniture_ is not meant to be climbed!”

Sirius raised a petulant eye to his mother. She obviously didn’t understand that Hungarian Horntails didn’t follow rules. His mother summoned a house elf to collect Regulus and bring him up for his nap. Sirius was too old for a nap and had been for a long time now. He was going to keep playing. But it wasn’t much fun to be a dragon if there was no one there to fight him and his reign of destruction. He climbed off of the couch and his mother knelt to fix his robes. Another house elf cleaned the mess Sirius had made of the room: a mess made with the assistance of Regulus, naturally.

“You are Regulus’s older brother,” Mother began, “and it is up to you to show him how a Black is meant to act. I don’t want to see more of these antics. You have toys in your room as well as books. You will play with them. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Mother,” Sirius said.

“Good. Your cousins have arrived and are waiting in the drawing room. You will come out and greet them. Don’t fidget as you did when your grandparents visited.”

“Yes, Mother.” As soon as he was released, Sirius pelted for the door.

“Do not run!” his mother yelled, and Sirius slowed to a jumpy sort of walk. His older cousins were here, which meant he could tell Andromeda about all the games he had taught Regulus to play. The drawing room door was ajar, so Sirius pushed it fully open and walked in. His aunt and uncle looked up; Uncle Cygnus smiled.

“The heir certainly is growing fast,” he said. That was how Uncle Cygnus talked to him. Sirius was the heir to the Black family, and he was very important.

“I turned five!” Sirius said in response. His cousin Bellatrix was seated in the dark green chair directly to her mother’s right. Her dark eyes narrowed in disgust as she caught sight of him. Bellatrix disliked him; Andromeda said that was because Bellatrix didn’t like children, hadn’t even when she’d been a child, and that being disliked by Bellatrix was proof that you were a good person. Andromeda was always right, so Sirius smiled brightly at Bellatrix, then went to the sofa where his other two cousins were seated. Andromeda helped him and presently he was seated between her and Narcissa. Sirius tried to remember not to fidget.

“What a pleasure to see our baby cousin,” Bellatrix said.

“ _Regulus_ is the baby,” Sirius replied. “He’s napping.”

“Poor boy tires easily,” his mother said as she entered the room. “It’s been too long since we’ve had a visit, brother.”

“I knew you had your hands full,” Uncle Cygnus replied. “It is unfortunate we are only meeting under such grim circumstances. Has father come to see you?”

“No, but Orion has been to him,” Mother replied. She sat beside her brother on the couch opposite Sirius. “He is holding up, but I think mother’s passing is not as simple as he would like to pretend. I suspect he’ll demand that Alphard be at the funeral, and we all know how that will go.” Sirius stopped listening at the mention of Uncle Alphard. Mother and Uncle Cygnus did not like Uncle Alphard. Instead, his eyes strayed to the bowl of sweets on the side table to his left. He craned his head to look past his cousin Narcissa until he saw her turn her head and look at him. Sirius turned away and pretended to pay attention to something else. His eyes strayed to the large family tree on the wall. Sometimes he liked to go up and count all the names of the relatives. There were lots of names on the tree, more than a few Siriuses, but many of them had died. Like his grandmother, Grandma Irma, who had just died.

Something touched his hand and Sirius turned to see Narcissa pushing one of the sweets into his palm. He popped it in his mouth and smiled as Narcissa quietly put a finger to her lips.

“Did you know that ‘Cissa will start school in September?” Andromeda asked Sirius quietly. He shook his head and looked at Narcissa in awe.

“When do I get to go to school?” Sirius asked. Andromeda laughed quietly.

“Well, how old are you now?” Sirius held up his hand to indicate five.

“And if you count up to eleven…” Andromeda helped him count on his fingers up to eleven. He ended up with six fingers.

“Six?” Sirius asked.

“Yes. You have six more years until you go to Hogwarts.”

“That’s forever,” Sirius said. “I want to go now. Then I could play with you and Narcissa everyday!”

“Who would play with Regulus?” Andromeda asked.

“He can play with Kreacher,” Sirius said. Narcissa let out an abrupt laugh which caught the attention of their parents.

“I’m so pleased you two are invested in your late grandmother’s affairs,” Aunt Druella said. “I understand how dull it must seem.”

“Not at all, mother,” Andromeda said. “It’s tragic to see her die so suddenly.”

“Why did she die?” Sirius asked. There was silence.

“You mean ‘how’,” his mother corrected, “and as you’ve been told, she died of illness.”

“But why?” Sirius asked. There was another pause.

“He’s fairly inquisitive,” Uncle Cygnus said with humour.

“And impetuous,” Mother responded caustically.

“He’s five; he’ll grow out of it,” Aunt Druella responded. “You remember Bellatrix.”

Sirius could see color rise in his cousin’s sallow cheeks.

“Your grandmother died because everyone must die one day,” Mother said decisively. “It is a fact of life. Everything gained is lost. No more questions. We’ll need to cover the details of your grandmother’s funeral. Your cousins can look after you.”

Sirius leapt from the sofa and dragged Andromeda as quickly from the room as a five year old could manage.

 

*****

 

When Regulus came down into the playroom from his nap, Sirius was showing Andromeda the new dragon toy that was his current favorite. He held the small eagle figure and ran around the room, the dragon flying in his wake.

“See, he follows everywhere I go! He wants to eat the eagle, and he chases it!” Sirius explained, hopping over the throw pillows he’d taken from the couch and ducking under the table. The dragon followed suit. Sirius barreled over the house elf, Kreacher, on the other side of the table, but got up quickly.

“Go away!” he yelled at Kreacher, who promptly retreated with a profuse apology. Then Sirius winced and pulled his hand in. The dragon had caught up and its jaws were latched around his fingers, attempting to reach the eagle in his fist. Regulus’s hands closed around the dragon’s body, but Sirius pushed him away.

“I want to play with it!” Regulus cried, but Sirius pulled the toy away and ran to Andromeda. He grasped the neck and pinched until the jaw released and the dragon stopped moving.

“No, you play with it!” Sirius said, giving it to Andromeda.

“If Regulus wants to play with it—” Andromeda began but Sirius interrupted her sharply.

“No! I want you to play with it. And then me and Regulus will be the dragon catchers.”

“Dragon catchers!” Regulus cried, eagerly running up beside his brother.

“Dragon catchers?” Andromeda said. Sirius nodded.

“I taught Regulus to play dragon catcher. I make the eagle fly, and then the dragon flies, and he has to catch it. But now you can run around, and we can both chase it!”

“I have a better idea,” Andromeda said, taking out her wand. She pointed it at the small eagle in her palm. “ _Wingardium Leviosa_.”

“Isn’t it summer, ‘Dromeda?” Narcissa asked from the other side of the couch. She sounded amused, but Sirius was watching the eagle. He was trying to decide if this was an acceptable change to dragon catchers. Running was the best part of dragon catchers, after all. Regulus walked over and reached his arm up for the eagle, but Andromeda let the toy bob free of his reach.

“Perhaps Sirius’s impetuousness is rubbing off on me,” Andromeda said, making the eagle bounce in the air above Regulus’s head to the boy’s delight. Sirius decided this would be fine and reached to bring the dragon back to life. It flew out of his grasp and after the eagle. Andromeda flicked the eagle aside and the chase was on. Andromeda tried to get the dragon to swoop back towards Regulus, but the major effort lay in keeping the dragon even a single step ahead of Sirius, who was after the toy like a bat out of hell. Narcissa swiftly pulled her legs up under her in order to escape a near run-in.

“Just watching him is exhausting,” she said with annoyance. Andromeda shrugged, but didn’t comment. Sirius, having noticed the dragon repeatedly bobbed up and out of his reach, jumped up on one of the taller chairs in the room and climbed the back, ready to ambush the dragon en route from above. The chair tipped before he could jump, however, and he fell to the floor. His chin made contact and his teeth caused a sharp pain in his lip. The chair struck the ground with a resounding bang.

“Sirius!” Andromeda said. She was at his side immediately; the eagle dropped to the floor and was quickly snatched by the dragon. Sirius’s face was scrunched tight and Andromeda saw some blood on his lip. She was in the process of gently urging Sirius to sit up when the door opened.

“What is happening in here?” Mother’s voice said.

“He fell is all,” Andromeda said. “Come on, Sirius, sit up and let me see.”

“He was climbing the furniture again,” Mother stated. She looked at the fallen chair with contempt, then righted it by magic.

“Bella never did _that_ ,” Aunt Druella said quietly from the doorway. Mother threw her a nasty look.

“Aunt Walburga, I think he’s cut his lip.” Mother crouched low and held Sirius’s chin tightly to inspect the wound.

“He has. And I hope he sees the sorts of consequences he can expect for misbehaving.” She released his chin abruptly and stood. “I won’t be healing it. Sirius, if you are insistent on acting out of control, then you will be forced to endure the results.” Sirius wiped at the restrained tears in his eyes. His lip was sore and his chin stung from where it had banged into the floor.

“Andromeda, you should be keeping him from doing such ridiculous things,” Mother said.

“It just happened so fast, Aunt Walburga,” Andromeda said. “We’ll find something quieter to do.”

“I should hope so,” she responded.

Regulus fell heavily and sat down next to Sirius on the floor. He had the dragon curled up in his arms and looked up at Sirius with wide grey eyes. He offered it to Sirius, who took a hold of the dragon’s neck to make it inanimate once more. He didn’t feel like playing dragon catchers anymore.


	7. The Rover

_October 12, 1977_

__  


Sirius was in one of his favorite places in Hogwarts: the first floor courtyard. When the weather wasn’t unbearable — and sometimes when it was — it was always full of students from all the houses. Friends chatting together, studying in groups, playing games… It was _the_ social hub. Sirius was lying on his favorite bench, staring up at the sky and contemplating cloud shapes, when _she_ interrupted his thoughts.

“Sirius Black.”

“Angie McKelley.” McKelley stood before him in all of her new found glory. Slim waist, hips out to the moon. Summer had been like night and day for Angie. Sirius felt the smile stretch across his face before he could think. He sat up and gave her space to sit beside him.

“I was, er, surprised to see you in my NEWTs course,” she said. “Nearly everyone gives up on Astronomy.”

“Guess I had an interest,” Sirius replied. He actually legitimately enjoyed the course. Even at NEWTs level, it was a relief to the rest of his workload. “Despite the cold.”

“Your legendary complaints.”

“Are you asking for help in class?” Sirius asked. He hadn’t expected to be accosted in the first floor courtyard, but then that was what the courtyard was for. Sitting, relaxing, waiting for things to happen. Apparently waiting for Ravenclaw girls to come up and start a conversation. Made him almost happy James was at practice again.

“Maybe someone to share a telescope with,” Angie said, and Sirius thought she had moved closer. “Did you know that you’re never alone?”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Sirius said. And he hadn’t, but he wouldn’t be surprised either. Alone was dull. “Maybe I just like people. Have you been waiting to find me alone?”

“I wouldn’t say _that_ ,” Angie said. She was a little red, and her laugh sounded a touch too high in pitch. Sirius felt eyes on them, but that was normal. He was used to being monitored.

“I hope my friends don’t steer you off,” Sirius replied lightly. “I’m sure they’d love to talk with you as much as I would.”

“ _Would_ they?” she asked. Angie grinned like Sirius was making her day. Sirius moved closer and was happy to see Angie lean in towards him.

“Fine girl like you, who wouldn’t like to talk with you? But I’m happy I get to speak with you on my own.” And at this point, Sirius _understood_ the stares, but was done with that. The courtyard’s uses had limits.

“You know, it’s brisk out,” Sirius continued, “but I love a good walk. Would you walk with me on the grounds a bit?”

“I would love to,” Angie said. They left. Fuck stares.

  


*****

  


“You took her out to the Forest?” James asked, laughing. It was evening in the dorm. Sirius was lying facedown on his bed, James was sitting on his own, long legs stretched out in front of him. Peter was sitting cross-legged, watching with interest over his principally ignored textbook.

“The edge,” Sirius said. “Just the tip of the Forest, out by the lake.”

“Life is always exciting with you.” James was smiling nonetheless. “So is this Amy Dalton again?”

“No!” Sirius said heatedly. “I don’t _slobber_.”

“But are you _dating_?” Peter asked.

“I’ve grown,” Sirius said. “I realize I need to take things slower, not get tied down.”

“Waiting to see if she’ll respect you in the morning?” James asked, snickering. “It’s okay, we know you’re a good girl.”

“I’m not a… _honestly.”_ Peter was snickering too, but that was to be expected. James does, Peter does. “You’re jealous the birds are all over me.”

“Just Angie is,” James returned. “And she’s a bit pathetic. You didn’t see the way she was craning during our OWLs.” James was wrong; Sirius had seen, but he’d been too uninterested to acknowledge it then.

“Not just Angie. Face it Potter: I’m the one everyone wants.” James rolled his eyes.

“Quality over quantity, Pads,” James responded. “Quality.”

“Angie’s fantastic,” Sirius said. “I’m going to see her Friday. And I don’t need to hear more of this jealousy.”

“But did you kiss?” Peter asked. Sirius looked up at Peter from his position lying on his stomach. What a moron Pete was. He’d never do the practical tomorrow.

“‘Course we kissed, Wormtail. What do you take me for? Can we talk about something else yet?”

“Know what we need?” James said. “We need a game.”

“Yeah?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” James said. “I’m thinking Survivor.”

“Ooo…” Peter said from his bed. “Halloween Survivor?”

“Yes!” James said emphatically. He stood up and began to pace the length of the dorm in anticipation. “Pete, you’re a genius. We’ll have to spread the word. Just over a week to get everyone in. Who do we think? Thompson for sure, Merritt, Bones, Spooner…”

“Tecson would probably come. We could let him bring his brother, too,” Sirius said. James nodded.

“He’s not still angry at Remus you don’t think?” Peter asked.

“That was a year ago,” James said. “Water under the bridge. Oh, but we _have_ to bring Remus. Where’s a quill?” James unearthed quill and parchment and proceeded to note the list, his quill tip scratching lightly with each stroke.

“I could invite Angie,” Sirius said. James’s face twisted in confusion.

“There are no _girls_ in Survivor!” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Which made sense when we were eleven, because girls were, and I’m quoting you James, ‘icky,’” Sirius said. “But I think it’d be fun.”

“You mean you fancy the idea of hiding in a broom cupboard with a girl until 6 am,” Peter said.

“Be more pleasant than with _you_ ,” Sirius retorted.

“No. Girls,” James said definitively. “It’s just not… traditional.”

Sirius began laughing and even James couldn’t keep a straight face.

“Shut it,” James said finally, trying to wipe the grin from his face without Sirius seeing. “We’ll need the tags… Where did I…”

“I have them!” Peter said. He tossed his book aside and leant over his bed to his trunk.

“That’s good,” Sirius said. “All’d be lost if we counted on James to keep track.”

The bubblegum packet that hit Sirius’s head had really been unnecessary.

Sirius didn’t really know what the issue was with Angie. Okay, yes, bringing girls to Survivor definitely was new territory. He hadn’t really expected that to happen. Still, Angie wasn’t that bad. She _did_ giggle funny. Sirius didn’t know what made it funny, but she did it _an awful lot_. It’d happened enough that Sirius had made excuses to her and run up to the dorm for some quiet. Not that their dorm did quiet well. Quiet was probably the wrong word.

He’d come for the familiarity, he guessed.

And it _wasn’t_ like Amy Dalton, and it wasn’t _going_ to be like Amy Dalton, and maybe everyone should stop mentioning Amy Dalton.

Sirius didn’t remember what he’d been arguing with himself about, but he needed a distraction, immediately. James was caught up with his plans, so Sirius went for his next option.

Music.

Sirius dispelled the shield around the turntable’s cover — one could literally not be too careful in this dorm — then perused his options. He slid _Lola Versus Powerman_ from its sleeve and spun it up.

“I think this is one of yours that I like,” James said as the music began.

“S’alright,” Sirius responded with a shrug. This was already at least 300% better. He wished he still had the _gog_ to work on. The only side project he had was the map, and Sirius wasn’t in the mood to traipse through the castle. He needed something new. Since nothing came to immediate mind, he resigned himself to working on the map’s personality. It was an idea James was really attached to, and Sirius didn’t want to disappoint. Still, he made a note to keep an eye out for a new project. Something hands on… He really was interested in those bikes. He’d been pasting up photos of them since third year — strange to think he’d never see any of those magazine photos again now, considering… Could he _build_ a bike?

How else would he ever get the _gog_ to fit?

“Owl for Sirius!” James said. A pillow collided with Sirius’s head. “Wake up and pay attention.”

“ _What?”_ Sirius asked, his temper short.

“I asked you what I should tell my parents. They keep asking how you are, and I’m going to send a letter tomorrow, so is there anything you wanted me to say to them?”

“Oh,” Sirius said. “I’m fine. Just… studying? I guess?” That sounded like the sort of thing he’d told his own parents. Nothing to report. Grades sufficiently high. Still ignoring all your requests. In full disobedience, your son, Sirius Black.

Didn’t seem as appropriate off to the Potters, that sort of letter.

“Alright.” James had a frown and worry lines on his brow, but Sirius tried not to think on it too much. That was the nice thing about James. He didn’t want to make Sirius sit and think things out if Sirius didn’t want to. And if James wanted to ask, he just _would_ , and that’d be that.

Simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for delays, been on a bit of a uh... medical rollercoaster, suppose. Not completed my ride but we'll try to work in parallel. PS ERs suck. Don't go if you don't gotta.
> 
> PS I love this playlist hope anyone else is listening, too. Can't wait for it to go all the way through to the last chapter: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976
> 
> Oh, yeah, The Rover by Led Zeppelin. Hell yeah, love this one.


	8. A Long Way From Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: woah, double posting... by the Kinks this time: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976

_Sent September 18, 1972_

__  


_September 20, 1972_

__  


Sirius gripped his potions set firmly and walked into the classroom. Certain phrases of his mother’s letter continued to echo in his head. ‘Failed to be sorted’ and ‘further disappointment’ gave particularly ever present appearances in his mind. That’s probably what he got for getting distracted and chatting with the hat. This was simply one more piece of an ever more confusing puzzle concerning his sorting… or apparently his life.

Sirius wasn’t necessarily thrilled to be sorted into Gryffindor, although there did seem to be this distant feeling of relief to _not_ be in Slytherin. His housemates weren’t anything like the people he’d known before. He’d had an interesting conversation with a muggleborn just yesterday, who mentioned that they missed their ‘telly’. Sirius thought this telly thing merited investigation. As for Slytherin, well, he’d never been much interested to be sorted there. Everyone he’d ever met had been a Slytherin, yes, but to Sirius that meant that he had already met plenty of Slytherins. There was more to the world than Slytherins, wasn’t there?

Still, Mother’s letter was right, loathe as Sirius was to abide by it. He was a Black, and he was the heir, and there were certain things he had to do because of it. Steeling his face into what he hoped was the cool indifference his father managed, Sirius walked directly to Edwina Rosier’s table.

“Edwina Rosier,” he said cooly. Her eyes passed over his face, then the Gryffindor insignia recently affixed on his robes.

“Sirius Black, yes?” she said. She had heavy lidded eyes that reminded Sirius of his cousins. “I don’t believe we’ve spoken before.”

“No, we haven’t had the chance.” A loud group of Gryffindor girls passed behind Edwina and distracted Sirius momentarily. Alexis Glasser seemed to be telling some sort of story about a puppy.

“I was very surprised,” Edwina said. “My father mentioned that you’d be in my year, and I had expected to be in the same house as you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with surprises,” Sirius replied promptly, bringing himself back to the conversation at hand. “I actually rather like them. Who wants the world to be boring?”

“HALLO!” a voice yelled in Sirius’s ear. James Potter had assaulted Sirius, an arm around one shoulder and Potter’s chin planted firmly on Sirius’s other. Potter pointed at Edwina.

“You,” Potter said. “I do not know you.”

“Her name is Edwina Rosier,” Sirius said shortly. He was still deciding whether or not Potter was brilliant or intolerable. He’d seemed a great bloke on the train — very funny, not remotely dull. Screaming in Sirius’s ear, however, gave another point towards intolerable. Edwina looked similarly put out.

“Hallo, Rosier. I’m James Potter,” he said cheerfully, then preceded to ignore her. Potter tilted his head to look at Sirius accusingly. “What’re you doing over here in the Slytherin section?”

“I believe it is obvious that I was having a conversation,” Sirius said. “The bigger question is what _you_ are doing here.”

“It’s your turn to partner with me!” Potter replied. “I worked with William in Charms yesterday, and Andy twice last week, and I got stuck with the quiet kid for potions the first week and I’m not going to do _that_ again, and I always partner with Pete, so today it’s you.”

“Where was the part when you asked?” Sirius asked. Potter gave him a confused look.

“I just did.”

“How childish,” Edwina said, looking at Potter in disgust. She looked very like Bellatrix in that moment and Sirius’s insides heaved at the thought of talking with her longer.

“But certainly never boring,” Sirius snapped. He pushed Potter’s arm off of him. “Stop that. These robes happen to be nice.”

“Which means… they’re more fun to ruin,” Potter said with a smile.

“You’re mental. Let’s take the table up there, then.” Sirius turned back to Edwina; he still had manners.

“Rosier, a pleasure,” he said, forcing a smile.

“Of course, Black.” He suspected that her smile was more forced than his. It didn’t matter, though, since he didn’t speak with her again.


	9. It Ain't Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by David Bowie (Ziggy Stardust): http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976

_October 26, 1977_

  


They had a rhythm down now. Remus was off down the tunnels about an hour before moonrise. James, Sirius, and Peter found their way towards the Willow around thirty minutes ’till, and then came the long trek. Sometimes James and Sirius raced, Peter clinging to Prongs’s antlers with his sharp claws. That wasn’t always, though. It was important to get in before the moon rose. They couldn’t get through the wards as animals, and Sirius didn’t know anyone stupid enough to knowingly try and enter a house with a werewolf while _human_. Then it was just a matter of slipping out of the Shack and heading deep into the Forbidden Forest.

This last bit hadn’t been expected initially, but it’d been voted 3 to 1 that staying in the Shack was simply infeasible. First, because it was boring. Second, because the wolf obviously hated it and tore at everything within reach. Third, because Prongs got his head stuck in things. Which was actually kind of funny, but only the first eight times.

So Wednesday the 26th saw four boys moving as quickly as possible deeper into the Forbidden Forest, until it was one boy and three animals, and then it was the Full.

It was a _rhythm_ and it was starting to feel _dependable_ and then everything just had to muck up.

“How was I supposed to know?” James said. “ _You’re_ the one who’s got a chance at tracking; _you_ find him!”

“I didn’t lose him! You did, so you should fix it,” Sirius returned, then jabbed his finger at the figure on the ground. “Besides, who’s gonna help this one get back?”

“ _ME_. I help him, and you track, bloodhound.”

“I’m not a bloodhound,” Sirius snapped. “Do you know anything about dogs at all?”

“Doesn’t matter,” James said. He stooped, placed the third boy’s arm around his shoulders, and stood again. “He’s your friend, you have the nose, so just stop complaining.”

“He’s probably scared…” mumbled the tired figure now slumped against James.

“‘Course he’s scared,” Sirius muttered in reply to Remus. “Pete’s always scared of the Forest.”

  


*****

  


The world of Dog was very different, Sirius felt, than the world of Man. And it was exactly the same, too. But the main difference was clearly smell. The dog nose connected such infinitesimally subtle changes with very specific information. For example, tracking where Peter had gotten actually was pretty difficult. Turns out, stags and dogs and werewolves were very big, had very distinct smells, and had a habit of rubbing their scent over every damn thing.

Rats? Not so much.

Or maybe there were just too many rats to account for; it didn’t matter. Sirius had a kind of idea of Peter’s exact scent. Sirius really hoped that Peter had stayed put somewhere. The only thing he could figure was that Peter had lost his grip on James’s antlers. It wouldn’t be safe to transform until after the moon set, so the safest thing for Peter would be to stay a rat.

In the forest.

Where _nothing_ preyed on rats, Sirius chided himself.

Sirius redoubled his efforts with fresh urgency, digging into harsh brush without a care for the scratches. He was beginning to get really worried — how long had he been searching, thirty, forty minutes? — when a boy erupted from the bushes to his right. Sirius yelped and dove to his left before he got a hold over the dog instincts.

“Don’t scare a man!” Sirius said as soon as he’d transformed back.

“Sorry!” Peter squeaked. “I just wanted to see if it was you. I didn’t know what to do. My mother always told me not to wander when you’re lost, but I didn’t know who might come looking, and if it was a teacher—”

“Calm down, stop,” Sirius said, and Peter silenced. Peter was beginning to hyperventilate and Sirius was worried what might come next. Crying? He didn’t want to see that. “Let’s just get back to the castle already.”

“Which way?” Peter asked. Sirius frowned. He _thought_ he knew, but he’d been wandering a while.

“It’ll be faster as a dog,” he reasoned. “Think you could keep a hold on me if I don’t run too fast?” Peter nodded, then promptly shrank to rat size.

And that turned out to be ideal, because the way back to the castle was just _obvious_ to the dog, and there was no way Peter could start crying as a rat. Being a dog was quickly becoming Sirius’s method of solving all problems. It was with great reluctance that he returned to human form once they’d reached the grounds.

“Thank you,” Peter said, looking at Sirius with wide eyes. “I didn’t know what to do, and I’m pants at defence spells—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sirius said, rushing ahead and leading the way back up to the tower. “Just don’t fall off again, alright?”

“I know, I didn’t _mean_ to, I just—”

“Seriously, Peter,” Sirius said. “I’m really tired, okay?”

“Right, sorry.” Peter lapsed into silence and Sirius let out a sigh of relief. Peter kept quiet for a whole twelve minutes, Sirius guessed, which was actually more than he had anticipated. Peter couldn’t keep his mouth shut when he got nervous.

“I thought it’d be James,” Peter said.

“What?”

“James. I thought James would come, so I was looking for a stag.” Sirius frowned.

“You think I wouldn’t come looking for you?” Sirius asked. Peter shrugged. “You’re daft. What kind of friend do you think I am?”

“I didn’t mean it _that_ way,” Peter said quickly. “I know you’d help me. But… where is James?”

“He was helping Remus,” Sirius said, his voice trailing. Remus had been a little shaky, so James had helped him get back to the Shack. By now, though, James was probably back in the Tower. “I’m sure he’s back in the dorm by now.”

Sirius spared a glance to Peter’s face. The boy was paler than normal and his eyes were darting everywhere except to Sirius himself. Peter was still clearly pretty upset over this, but Sirius didn’t really know what to do about that. He was tempted to go ask Remus how to handle this sort of thing, but recalled this would probably lead to Remus hiding under beds again.

“Remus is alright, though?” Peter asked.

“‘Course. Everyone’s fine,” Sirius said. He gave the password to the Fat Lady, then held the portrait open for Peter. “Nobody’s hurt, and we haven’t got class until the afternoon, so let’s just go up and sleep.”

James was in the dorm, but he wasn’t passed out like Sirius probably would’ve been if their situations had been reversed. He must’ve been pacing, by the look of things. He let out a long breath of air once he caught sight of Peter.

“ _That’s_ a relief,” James said.

“Yeah,” Peter replied shakily. “Sirius found me.”

“Knew you could,” James said to Sirius. “Didn’t expect it to _take_ so long…”

“Oi,” Sirius said. “It’s a big forest. I didn’t see you out there.”

“Can we not yell?” Peter asked, his voice high. “I know I messed up, because I’m too stupid—”

“You’re not stupid,” James said, but Peter must’ve hit some limit because instead of shutting up, his voice just rose in volume.

“Yes, I am, I’m just stupid. Plain, simple, stupid. I’m too stupid for NEWTs, too stupid to keep a girlfriend, and too stupid to simply hold on since I can’t keep up with the two of you! And I know you’re only friends with me because you pity me—”

“This isn’t pity,” James tried again, but Peter shook his head.

“—And that’s fine, I’ve always known it’s about pity, and because you just got stuck in the dorm with me—”

“Just shut up, Peter,” Sirius said. The exhaustion was catching up to him and a headache was forming, concentrated right above his left eye. Sirius fell heavily on his bed, longing to just fall asleep for a while. Peter was crying now, but Sirius wasn’t sure if that was before or after Sirius had cut him off. James threw an angry look Sirius’s way before he turned his full attention on Peter. He grasped the shorter boy by the shoulders, speaking with a determined tone of sincerity.

“We don’t pity you, Pete, and you’re not stupid, okay? How many _animagi_ our age, do you think?”

“Three,” Sirius said. James ignored him.

“You helped,” Peter whispered. “You and Sirius walked me through it.”

“We all helped each other,” James said. “Sirius did the potion after I mucked it up, remember?”

“You were just distracted,” Sirius replied. “You got us through the transfiguration bits, though.”

“And I did nothing!” Peter cried. James let out a groan to the ceiling and turned back to pacing. It was something Sirius found both endearing and insufferable in his friend; James would come up with a loss for words, and to make up for it, he’d gesture emphatically and plead Sirius with his eyes to _figure out whatever he was trying to say_.

“Pete,” Sirius began, trying to decipher meaning behind the way James’s hands weighed back and forth. “You provide… balance.”

That sounds good, Sirius thought. Follow that. You can make this up from there.

“Think of it, Peter, really, the two of us. We’d go winding off and who knows where we’d end up. Hey, and remember the map!” Sirius snapped his fingers at the realization. “You were the one who realized we had to test it out somewhere we could see what we were doing. Told us to use the tower. Me and James would’ve kept on trying the whole castle every time. You strategize, you plan! Everyone else might see what _we_ do, but you make sure what we do actually _matters_.”

“Yeah,” James said nodding. “Exactly.” Peter looked unsure still. He gave Sirius a questioning gaze.

“You’re not too stupid for all of this,” Sirius said. “You’re just getting worked up, and we’re all tired. But if it’s NEWTs or the moons or whatever, then we’ll work on it together. That’s what friends do, yeah?”

“I’d rather I could do it on my own,” Peter replied.

“Who cares about that?” James scoffed. “Point is being _able_ , doesn’t matter if you had help. Besides, wouldn’t that be boring?”

“…Okay, maybe,” Peter conceded.

“It’d be boring, and lonely, and no friend of mine is going to worry about that,” Sirius said. “Now, I’m going to close my eyes, and there may be some loud sounds, something like snoring, but don’t be alarmed. I promise I’m not dying; I only feel like death at the moment.”

“Need your beauty sleep before you see Angie in class?” James asked. Sirius rolled over and buried his face in the pillow.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Prongs,” Sirius replied. He heard the rustling of sheets and Sirius relaxed, assuming the drama was over with and they could all get some sleep. Footsteps exited the room, and then it was really quiet. Sirius was slightly startled to hear Peter’s voice from right next to his bed.

“Thank you, Sirius,” Peter said. “For coming to find me.”

Sirius nodded slightly and promptly passed out.


	10. I Will Survive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By Gloria Gaynor (cover used here though): http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976

_October 31, 1977_

 

“It’s on,” Sirius whispered to James just as he returned to the common room. Liam Tecson had finally given his answer, and that was the lot of them. Well, they hadn’t asked Remus but that was a given.

“Brilliant,” James replied. The two turned towards the couch in front of the fire in the common room where Remus and Evans were talking. “Time to collect Moony and start the fun.”

Sirius realized it was a poor decision to let James try and recruit Remus with Evans _right there_ , but it was also an amusing decision so he let it go. Remus barely glanced at James before his eyes lifted over his shoulder to look at Sirius. Difficult to call, but Remus looked suspicious. Evans looked disgusted.

“Remus, Evans, how is your evening?”

“Clear out, Potter,” Evans said in a clipped tone.

“Now now, I’m just here to extend an invitation to spend a rousing evening with me and Sirius,” James said, clapping Sirius around the shoulder.

“Not a chance,” she said.

“Technically I was inviting my good friend Remus, but if he decided to invite _you_ , I’d never object. But you don’t want to spend time with us? Honestly, I thought once you stopped speaking with Snivellus you’d hang out with a higher caliber of wizard.”

“I am,” she said, placing Remus’s arm around her and leaning into his shoulder.

“We are _not dating_ ,” Remus clarified emphatically. Sirius noted with a frown and a questioning tilt of his head that Remus didn’t take his arm away from her shoulders.

“Regardless, Moony, I think you’ll want to meet us upstairs in, oh, what, twenty minutes?” James asked, looking to Sirius for verification.

“What makes you think that?” Remus asked.

“Your curiosity,” James said simply, then headed up the stairs to the dorm. Sirius could barely keep himself from laughing as he followed.

“Well played, Prongs,” Sirius said once they reached the dorm room.

“I thought so,” James replied amiably. “Pete should be out of Gobstones now, yeah?”

“You think I keep track of something like that?” Sirius asked.

“He’s the one who knows where the tags are,” James said. He proceeded to open Peter’s trunk and look for them himself.

“Your complete ignorance of the lines of personal property never ceases to amaze me,” Sirius said. The door opened and Sirius turned to see Remus in the doorway.

“Okay, you win, what’s the plan?”

“It hasn’t even been five minutes,” Sirius said. “I’m starting to think you like hanging out with us again.”

“Is that Remus?” James asked, standing up from the trunk. “ _Knew_ that would work.”

“Isn’t that Peter’s trunk?” Remus asked just as Peter came through the open door.

“What about my trunk?” Peter looked around, then shot James an accusatory glare. “Are you going through my things?”

“Where are the tags?” Peter rolled his eyes and went to the table at his bedside.

“I put them in the _drawer_ when we first started planning the game, and I _said so_ , so you wouldn’t have to dig through my trunk and mess it all up again.”

“Hm,” James said, “I must’ve forgot.”

“What game?” Remus asked. Peter slapped Remus’s shoulder firmly. “Ow!”

“Sorry, Remus, just want to make sure it won’t fall off.” Remus looked with concern at the small black tag attached to his shoulder.

“No,” Remus said. Sirius laughed and took a tag from Peter. He attached it to his own shoulder with joy. It really had been too long.

“What do you think?” James asked. “We should go down past the hall on the fifth floor. No one’d look there.”

“I’m going solo,” Peter said. “I think I can win all on my own this time. I can _feel it_.”

“ _Do you honestly all still play Survivor_?” Remus asked. “You didn’t play last year, did you?”

“Of course,” James said. “Obviously we didn’t tell you.”

“We walked right by you once,” Sirius said. “You were on rounds with Joyce, and I almost burst out laughing. I could have grabbed your shoulder, you were _so close_.”

“You’re all children,” Remus said. He was staring at the tag with a conflicted look. “Tiny, infantile, moronic children.”

“Aw, i’s okay, Moony,” James said as he sat and pulled Remus close with one arm. “I’ll make sure you don’t get lost in the big scawy castle.”

“Shove off,” Remus said. He pushed James away. “Fine, let’s go be stupid. _Again_.”

“Wait,” Sirius said, turning an accusatory finger on James. “The cloak?”

James gave a long suffering sigh, but went to his bed and pulled the cloak out from the mattress.

“There, see? Hidden away. No cloak for Survivor. And the map is in _your_ trunk, right?” James nodded with approval when Sirius promptly presented and hid the map again. It was still only a prototype, but no advantage could be tolerated.

“Good. All fair now, right?” Sirius said.

“You know, just the _one time_ and you act sore this long.”

“You _abandoned me_ , and I got a week’s detention!” Sirius complained. “Besides, it’s cheating.” Sirius grabbed James hand and threw it down before James could finish a gesture in response.

“I can’t believe we’re still doing this,” Remus muttered. “As _sixth years_. You realize this is glorified hide-and-seek, right?”

“All I heard was the word ‘glory’,” James said before leading the way down the stairs.

 

*****

 

“So if I go back to the dorms…”

“The tag will go white the minute you enter the common room,” Sirius said. “Any common room.”

“Or if I stay in one place for more than, what, thirty minutes?”

“Twenty, I think,” Sirius said. “I forget what we set, but it hasn’t been a problem. Just have to keep moving. Wait…”

Sirius stuck his head around the corner; the charms corridor was long, and the waning moon cast low light through the windows along the east side. It looked empty, but this area was always a huge risk. If the seeker — or Filch, or a prefect, anyone really — came down the hall, the only options were to run, or duck into a classroom. And all the classrooms were dead ends: one door in and out. But Remus and Sirius had witnessed Milton chasing someone down, so Sirius felt pretty certain the corridor would be safe. Plus, if they could get to the other side, that’d put a lot of distance between them and Milton. Should buy them at minimum another guaranteed hour.

“Looks clear. Let’s move quickly though!” Remus nodded.

“So what other children’s games have you lot been playing while the rest of us grew up?”

“Growing up is overrated,” Sirius scoffed. “You’re enjoying yourself, admit it.”

“Maybe,” Remus said with a grin. “It is kind of stupid though. I mean, it’s 2 AM. I could be sleeping now.”

“Then go sleep,” Sirius said. “Just forfeit and you can go to bed.”

“Well, no, I can’t _forfeit_ ,” Remus said. “It’s stupid but I’m still going to win.” Sirius laughed.

“You’ve forgotten all the rules. How do you think you’re going to win?”

“I didn’t forget _all_ the—” Remus cut himself off and stared down to the end of the corridor. Sirius looked, too, and was dismayed to see a shadow moving along the wall.

“Someone’s coming,” Remus whispered, then pulled Sirius into one of the classrooms. They sat against the wall, in the dark, listening as footsteps approached down the hall.

“I heard you,” came Milton Bones’s voice. Sirius cursed silently in his head. “I know you’re hiding in one of these rooms. All I have to do is shut all the doors and wait until your time runs out. Then I’ll have myself two more seekers…”

Remus nudged Sirius in the shoulder, then stood. Sirius joined him and Remus grabbed his hand, leading him quietly deeper into the classroom. In the back, Remus stopped by a standing wardrobe and dropped Sirius’s hand.

“Help me up?” he whispered.

“What’s up there?” Sirius asked. He felt Remus’s silent laugh as a burst of warm air on his face.

“How long since you visited Echo?”

The hard part was getting up on top of the wardrobe without alerting Milton’s attention. The wardrobe rattled a little as Remus crawled on it, and Sirius could hear Remus’s shoes make contact with stone on the other side. Sirius put on a burst of speed following Remus through the cramped hole, fearful Milton would see him and they’d be caught. When he dropped into the chamber himself, it was with great relief.

“Did he see us?” Remus whispered.

“Don’t think so,” Sirius replied. He looked around in awe. He hadn’t been in this room in years. It was a small room, just Echo in the one corner standing on a tall base, and the crumbled remains of a staircase along the other wall. There were stained glass windows which cast colored moonlight over Remus’s face.

“Is there another way out of here?” Sirius asked. Remus shrugged.

“Well, I have always wondered where that staircase went…”

“Great,” Sirius said. He climbed what was left of the staircase, but it looked like it literally had always led into the ceiling. Even in Hogwarts, that was weird. Remus walked over to the statue, craning his neck up.

“‘Lo, Echo. I hope you’re doing well. Any clues on another way out of here?” Echo’s smooth head tilted, as if in thought. Then it lifted its arm, pointed at Sirius, then Remus, then straight down. Remus looked up at Sirius with a frown.

“Don’t look at me; I haven’t even been in this room in years.” Remus sighed, but began inspecting the ground under Echo’s feet. Sirius looked up again at the ceiling, running his hands across the smooth surface. It was hard for him to come to terms with a staircase that lead into flawless stone.

“Aha!” Sirius turned to see Remus reveal a small opening around the back of Echo’s pedestal. “Come on, let’s see where this goes.”

Sirius followed behind Remus, only passingly interested in the details. There was nothing extraordinary about the closed stairwell beneath Echo. He also had the game on his mind. But when they ended on a flat plane of stone, he did look at Remus quizzically.

Then the floor disappeared from under them and all Sirius could think was, “ow.”

He and Remus landed on a woven rug, slightly worn but of good quality. The only light was from a room at the end of the hall. Sirius picked himself up, looking around before turning to Remus in confusion.

“So… what was that?” he asked. Remus shrugged. Then a figure came around the corner, wand raised, and Sirius’s mouth dropped in shock.

“ ** _WHAT_** ,” Professor McGongall said, clad in a tartan robe with curlers in her hair and a menacing gaze, “ **do you two believe you’re doing in my private rooms?!** ”

“Er,” Remus uttered. He looked red in the face. Sirius felt equally flabbergasted.

“ ** _DETENTION!”_**


	11. Hammer to Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by Queen. Playlist for whole fic here: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976
> 
> Sorry for the long hiatus

_November 1, 1977_

  


Sirius was stressed. He was so stressed he would admit to himself he was stressed. James knew he was stressed, least of all because Sirius’d said so. _Angie_ knew he was stressed, least of all because Sirius’d said so. Therefore, Sirius was overwrought and fraying at every edge. He was trying to rub the pain away from his shoulders while keeping Peter company at James’s practice. The only thing more stressful than time with Pete at James’s Quidditch practice was time by himself. That rarely ended well. So here he was with Peter, studying. Legitimately while he could manage, sadly.

“Do you come out here _every_ practice?”

“Not _every_ practice,” Peter replied, looking pink. “Sometimes I’ve got gobstones…”

“Maybe you should think of getting over James a bit. He’s obsessed with Lily you know.”

“Oi, I’m not a _poof_ ,” Peter responded hotly. Sirius shrugged and turned a page in his book.

“Poof or not, it’s a little creepy.”

“Well, you’re obsessed with Remus.” Sirius gaped at Peter.

“I am _not_.”

“You are, a bit.”

Sirius snorted but it was probably a decent enough comeback as far as Peter was concerned. He had incantations to memorize, after all. Sirius turned to his book, and Peter’s eyes returned to the skies.

  


_November 1, 1974_

  


Sirius picked at the fabric of the couch. He was perched up on the armrest for no reason in particular. The common room was surprisingly empty, in Sirius’s opinion. In an effort to avoid loneliness he was looking over Will’s shoulder as Will practiced drawing. This didn’t lend itself to conversation, so Sirius was picking at the fabric of the couch.

“What are you drawing?” Peter asked, dropping into the seat beside Will.

“I’m trying to draw Andy’s cat,” Will said, gesturing to the cat across the room. “But he’s being a brat.”

“If it’s Andy’s cat, why do I never see it?” Sirius asked. Will shrugged.

“Andy just got him this summer. Plus I think Remus locks him out,” Will explained.

“He locks the cat _out_?” Peter asked.

“The cat is a little, er… over-affectionate?” Will explained. Sirius laughed.

“Pete, we need to see this,” Sirius said. Peter nodded, then looked over Will’s hunched shoulder at Sirius.

“Yeah, we do. Are you okay?” Peter asked Sirius. Sirius turned on Peter with a quizzical look.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Peter said. “Just thought I’d ask.”

They lapsed into silence again. Sirius looked at Will’s drawing as best he could from behind Will’s shoulder. It was actually pretty good, he thought. It looked like a cat, after all.

“You’re getting really good,” Peter said. “I like the way that paw looks!”

“Thanks,” Will said. “I think it looks awful.”

“No, it’s good. I could never do that.”

“Maybe if you drew more,” Will replied, then turned Peter’s wrist to see his watch. “Is that really the time?”

“Yeah,” Peter replied. “Why?”

“Nothing,” Will replied, shoving his belongings into his bag. “I was just meeting my brother and now I’m late.”

“Brothers are supposed to be pretty understanding,” Sirius said coolly.

“Dylan won’t mind,” Will said, smiling at Sirius. “But I don’t like making him wait, either. See you two later!”

Sirius waved goodbye as Will made a quick exit. That left him with Peter.

Great.

“Alright, let’s play a game,” Sirius said, reaching into his bag.

“What game?” Peter asked. His eyes followed Sirius’s hands as he grabbed a book from his bag and placed it on the table.

“It’s called, how much does Andy’s cat like the smell of Remus.” The cat in question made a beeline for the book.

“That’s Remus’s book?” Peter asked.

“That is Remus’s book. Potions.”

“…Why do you have Remus’s potions book?” Peter asked with concern.

“‘Nicked it,” Sirius replied. “I was going to write in notes to help him. And some to be funny.”

“Oh,” Peter said. James probably would’ve suggested skipping the notes and sticking solely to jokes. Sirius thought maybe half and half would bring Remus back from being a complete berk. Andy’s cat sat serenely, stared steadily into Sirius’s eyes, and pushed the book off the table. Sirius laughed and levitated the book back onto the table. Peter looked up at Sirius nervously.

“Er,” he began. “Are you… _sure_ there’s nothing you want to talk about?”

“Why would I want to talk about something?” Sirius asked as the cat deposited the book once more onto the floor.

“I just heard you had a fight with your brother…” Sirius stopped levitating the book and it fell with a crack. Andy’s cat bolted up the stairs.

“Even if that were true,” which it was, “why would that even be worth mentioning. Of _course_ I fight with Regulus. He’s a brown-nosing, obnoxious prat.”

“But what did you fight about?” Peter asked, stupidly in Sirius’s opinion.

“Why do you care?” Sirius spat out.

“Because… we’re friends?” Peter replied, voice full of doubt. It was the last thing Sirius needed, this blind dig for reassurance.

“I’m going to find that cat,” Sirius said. He grabbed Remus’s book and his bag, then headed upstairs. Peter followed closely behind. The cat, Sirius found, had curled itself up on Remus’s bed in the other dorm.

“Wait, Sirius,” Peter said from the door, huffing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s alright,” Sirius replied, even though it really wasn’t, and he fully believed Peter had honestly meant to pry, but he didn’t want to upset the boy either. “Hey, do you know the cat’s name?”

“No,” Peter said. “But it is interesting, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“That it’s not scared of Remus. I thought it’d be the opposite.” Sirius raised an eyebrow at Peter.

“You know, you’re exactly right. That _is_ interesting.”


	12. Pretty Vacant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by The Sex Pistols. Playlist for whole fic here: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976
> 
> Again, sorry for the long hiatus. Comments and kudos do remind me to update though, so thank you to those who have.

_November 2, 1977_

  


Sirius tapped his quill against the parchment rapidly. He _hated_ tutoring, which was probably why McGonagall had set up the detention in the first place. That and Remus was normally pretty good at it. Sirius said normally because today Remus had zero patience for the first years.

“It’s a simple spell; I don’t understand why you’re having problems,” Remus snapped out quickly.

“I just don’t get it,” the girl, Amelia, whined. “I don’t know how to get the little match to become a needle.”

“I’ll give you a hint: you use magic,” Remus replied.

“Remus!” Sirius hissed. Amelia looked about ready to cry and her friend wrapped an arm around her.

“You don’t have to be so mean!” the second girl, Sabrina, said. Amelia sniffed, but gripped her wand more tightly.

“He’s just… upset about other stuff,” Sirius lied quickly. “Let’s try this again, slower. A lot of transfiguration is concentration, right? You remember that? So take some deep breaths and think about that match as a needle.”

Sirius watched Amelia take a few deep breaths. Her light brown hair fell over the Hufflepuff crest of her robes and her eyes were watery. Still, she calmed slightly and her face stiffened with determination. Sabrina didn’t loosen her grip around her friend’s shoulder.

“Now, you just say the spell and flick your wand. Don’t worry, I’m sure you can do it,” Sirius said as reassuringly as he could manage. Remus scoffed, stood abruptly, and left the library. Sirius stood up in confusion. “Er, look, Sabrina, why don’t you practice with Amelia while I—”

“Knock some sense into your friend,” Sabrina replied acidly. Sirius rolled his eyes but didn’t respond. Instead he turned and jogged to catch up with Remus. The boy was quick when he wanted to be; Sirius was breathing heavily when he caught up.

“Moony, mate, what’s _wrong_ today?”

“Nothing,” Remus said. “Just tired is all.”

“I’ve never seen you act like that with a first year,” Sirius said. “Not even when we were first years. Seriously, mate, what _is_ it? Is it… is it a moon thing?”

“No!” Remus snapped, then continued in a whisper. “It is not a ‘moon thing’. I’m just tired of tutoring some stupid Hufflepuffs. The girl is daft as anything, they should probably kick her out.”

“Are you _mental_?” Sirius asked. “Seriously. This is not you.”

“You have to admit she’s stupid,” Remus said.

“No,” Sirius replied. “I don’t, because I think her friend is stupider, but you haven’t been insulting _her_.”

“Well I don’t care, except I’m not doing this anymore,” Remus replied and tried to move away. Sirius grabbed his arm.

“McGonagall will have your head for walking out on detention,” Sirius said.

“Fine,” Remus replied. “She knows where to find me.”

Remus turned and left. Sirius was left staring, jaw dropped and contorting in confusion.

“What. The. FUCK, Lupin!”

  


*****

  


“And he just went off at her like she was a moron,” Sirius continued. “Just on and on about how she was too stupid for magic, and he even said to me she should be kicked out. Kicked OUT! You know who sounds like that? My Aunt Druella once talked about squibs being taken out back and relieved of their misery. That’s what it reminded me of.”

“Remus wasn’t talking about killing a first year,” James said. He leaned further back against his bed, stretching on the headboard. “You’re overreacting.”

“I am NOT,” Sirius replied. “You should’ve seen it. He was mental. Completely mental. And I don’t know what set him off.” James shrugged.

“Dunno, mate. I haven’t seen Remus do anything odd. Maybe it’s just a werewolf thing.”

“He said it wasn’t,” Sirius said. Of course that meant nothing, but still. Remus hadn’t ever been like that before.

“Who cares,” James replied. “It was a stupid detention, and maybe McGonagall will think again about assigning that sort of work to you two. Hilarious, though, way you two got caught.”

“Shut it,” Sirius said, but James started laughing.

“So what were her rooms like?” James asked. “Did she have company?”

“WHY would you ask that?” Sirius screeched. James’s laughter increased, but Sirius just felt horrified. Thoughts he never wanted in his head had barged in and it was all James’s fault.

“You lose your temper all the time, it’s about time we saw Moony lose his,” James said confidently. “He’s only human, right?”

“No, I know, just…” Sirius couldn’t put his finger on it. This was different. It was new. And it was…

Bad.

“Let’s talk about more important things,” James said. “Namely, tomorrow.”

“You have plans for my birthday?” Sirius asked. James nodded.

“’Course I do. What kind of best friend do you take me for?”


	13. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> by the Sex Pistols. Fic playlist link: http://hypster.com/playlists/userid/5406407?7204976

_November 3, 1977_

__  


It was stupid, Sirius reasoned, that he’d be spending much of his 17th birthday stuck in the library. Wake up _early_ for it even. In before noon. Absolutely abhorrent, really, but there wasn’t anything to be done about it now. He hadn’t finished the paper earlier in the week and it was due the next morning. Adulthood would probably just bring a stronger reprimand about responsibility…

There was a small cough, and Sirius’s head popped up. Then his eyes narrowed and his gaze dropped.

“Go away, Regulus.”

“I can’t even wish you a happy birthday?” Regulus asked. Sirius shrugged.

“If you make it quick, I suppose.” There was a long silence and despite his better judgement Sirius looked up again. Regulus was looking at a small wrapped gift in his own hands, turning it nervously.

“You brought me a gift?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” Regulus said, holding it out. “I just thought… I mean, you’ll only turn 17 once, right?”

“That’s what I’ve been told,” Sirius replied cautiously. He took the box with curiosity and peeled away the wrapping. He didn’t know what to do once he saw what was inside.

“I know it was already yours,” Regulus said, “but you forgot it —”

“I didn’t _forget_ it, I _left_ it,” Sirius snapped, dropping the box roughly. The small watch rolled out onto the table, landing backside up to show the Black crest.

“Don’t say that,” Regulus pleaded. “I know Grandfather is difficult to get along with—”

“He’s a rotten old man that should get on with dying, is what he is!” Sirius bit out, barely able to keep his voice down. He hated Grandfather Arcturus, and he knew Regulus was no fan either.

“Maybe if everyone calmed down, we could talk over Christmas,” Regulus rushed out.

“I’m not coming home for Christmas; I told you that at the beginning of the year. And if you think Mother is capable of reason then you’re as much a nutter as she is.” Regulus looked completely taken aback at that outburst. He had nothing to say, and turned to leave.

“And take this horrid thing,” Sirius said, sliding the watch down the table. Regulus made a desperate — and successful — attempt to catch it before it fell to the floor. “I’d only be forced to melt it down if you left it with me. Probably have it made into coffin nails to express my wishes on the family.”

“Happy birthday, brother,” Regulus said hollowly, pocketing the watch before hurrying away. Sirius worked a dozen or so fruitless minutes before he gave up on the schoolwork entirely and returned to the dorm.

  


*****

  


_July 17, 1972_

  


Sirius fidgeted with the collar of his robes. He hated visiting Grandfather Arcturus, mostly because Aunt Lucretia was a nut and Grandfather was… Grandfather. Regulus looked over at Sirius and shrugged.

“Might not be that bad,” he said. “It’s only for his birthday.”

“Surprise, it’ll all be about Grandfather,” Sirius muttered. Sirius started at the sharp rap of Father’s cane on the floor.

“You’ll respect your grandfather,” Father stated. “He is head of the Black line and well wise. You’d do well to follow his advice.”

“Of course, Father,” Sirius said. He took the floo powder his father offered and stepped into the flames.

“Ashewood Manor,” he stated, then sucked in a breath as the flames spun. Sirius stepped out coughing. He hated the floo.

“Don’t slouch,” came the harsh words of his grandfather. “You are named for my father, for the line of Sirius’s who have led this family well, and you’d do well to remember and act it.”

“Yes, Grandfather,” Sirius replied, complying as best he could while trying to rid himself of ash. Regulus appeared trailing soot.

“What a mess you two always make,” Aunt Lucretia said, cleaning the soot from the rug with a flick of her wand. Father appeared immediately after, though he cleaned the soot himself before it could be noticed, as if by long habit.

“Sister, how good to see you,” he said, stepping forward to kiss her on the cheek.

“Orion,” she said softly. “Your boys are growing so quickly.”

“Yes,” Orion said. “Sirius will attend Hogwarts in September, you know.”

“A _critical_ time,” Grandfather said, turning to Sirius. “When you are sorted into Slytherin, be sure to speak with your Head of House. Horace is a good friend.”

“A fine teacher as well,” Orion added. “He’ll be a worthy asset.”

“I look forward to meeting him,” Sirius said, though he wasn’t even remotely. A dear friend of Grandfather didn’t sound like a good friend of his own.

“Lucretia, help me up,” Grandfather said. “I want to sit in the sun. Let’s move to the sitting room in the back.”

Aunt Lucretia offered her arm to Grandfather; once up, he relied heavily on his cane to move into the hall. Aunt Lucretia fell back and Father bent his head towards her, speaking softly.

“How is his leg recovering?” he asked.

“Fine,” she replied stiffly.

“Do you need any help?” She laughed then.

“Orion, I practically raised _you_ , I can certainly care for Father.” She glanced then at Sirius who was trailing behind her and smiled. “How are you faring with your boys? So fortunate.”

“I keep busy,” Father said. “Walburga handles much of their care.”

“She would,” Aunt Lucretia said, her voice darkening. “Mistake if you ask me.”

“I don’t know what to do with them,” Father responded. “So that’s the way it will be.”

“Bring them here,” Aunt Lucretia said. “I’ll set them right.”

“That’s a mistake as well,” Grandfather said, sitting heavily in a seat by the window. “Shouldn’t be listening to women’s opinions.”

“Boys, don’t dawdle,” Aunt Lucretia said. Sirius quickened his pace into the room. He considered the chairs, then sat calmly into a couch seat shadowed from the window. Regulus silently took the seat beside him.

“Such quiet boys,” Aunt Lucretia remarked. Sirius held back a laugh. He knew what he’d get for speaking up: a sharp crack on the wrists from Grandfather’s wand. “But haven’t you forgotten something?”

“Happy birthday, Grandfather,” the brothers chorused.

“Ah, yes, a happy birthday. Seventy-two years and already relying on a cane.”

“It’s only temporary,” Aunt Lucretia chided him. “And the rest is doing you a world of good, Father.”

“I don’t need rest. I need to keep this House from falling into shambles.”

“The House is in good care,” Father said. “Walburga sees to that.”

“Power-hungry woman, her,” Grandfather said. “Still, keeping the Black line pure was of greater importance. Ah, but that reminds me, I’ve a gift to give, myself,” Grandfather Arcturus said with a nod. “Should be receiving the gifts, but here I am, the gracious one on my own birthday.”

Sirius looked with caution at the small box his grandfather revealed and offered to Sirius. After a glance at his father and brother, though, he rose to accept it.

“Thank you, Grandfather,” Sirius replied. He carefully removed the wrapping to reveal a small silver watch in a box. He lifted it and his fingers ran over the Black family crest on the back.

“I wanted to be sure you had something to remember the family by while at school. Can be lonely, being thrown in with the refuse. Think of this as a good holdover until you get your proper watch when you come of age.” Sirius didn’t know about all that, but he did recognize that it was a pretty watch. He carefully closed the latch on the front and ran his fingers over the chain, and Aunt Lucretia ushered him over to secure the pocket watch properly to his robes.

“Why don’t you bring the boys here each week,” Aunt Lucretia said once Sirius was settled and had returned quietly to his seat. “They can learn from their grandfather what is expected of a Black.”

A tugging at Sirius’s arm brought his attention back to Regulus, who leaned in close to whisper.

“I don’t want to see Grandfather,” Regulus murmured. Sirius wholeheartedly agreed but remained silent.

“Walburga is quite attached to Regulus,” Father responded, “but it could be good for Sirius. Up until he starts school, naturally.” Sirius tried to silently convey his utter distaste for the idea without earning his grandfather’s wrath in return.

“That sounds settled,” Aunt Lucretia said. “Sirius, you should be excited. Your grandfather has much to share with you. He was awarded the Order of Merlin, you know.”

“First class,” Sirius said. He did know. He was also sick of hearing of it.

“Yes, yes,” Grandfather said, smiling. “But Orion, what has kept you so… busy?”

“I’ve put up a new set of wards on the house,” Father said.

“You and your wards,” Aunt Lucretia said with a laugh.

“I exchanged letters with someone who developed a stronger muggle-repelling charm,” Father stated. “They won’t even cross the walk ahead of the house. Refreshing to see them keep their distance. Hated seeing them stroll past in the window.”

“Good, yes,” Grandfather said. “Impressive.” Sirius disagreed, as he had often watched the muggles from the windows of the drawing room. They were interesting.

“Will there be muggle-borns at school?” Sirius found himself asking. Four sets of eyes turned on him.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Father said. “You will not speak with them.”

“But they’ll be in my classes,” Sirius argued. “What if I have to do schoolwork with them?”

“You will be able to partner with other Slytherins during your classes,” Aunt Lucretia explained with a smile. “Don’t worry about such things.”

“Why do they let them into school?” Regulus asked, apparently emboldened by Sirius’s questions.

“Who knows,” Grandfather said, laughing loudly. “Charity, I suppose.” Regulus joined in a laugh; Sirius did not.

“We’ve already determined that Edwina Rosier will be in your year,” Father said.

“Druella’s niece, isn’t she?” Aunt Lucretia asked. Father nodded. “That could be a _very_ good thing.”

“He’s a ten year old boy,” Grandfather said. “He’ll have time enough for that later. Not like a daughter.”

Aunt Lucretia pursed her lips, but smiled. Sirius wasn’t quite keeping up, but he determined that Edwina probably wasn’t very fun if she was related to Aunt Druella.

“Boys, you should take advantage of the grounds your Aunt has here,” Father said. “Sirius, remember to watch out for your brother.”

“Of course,” Sirius replied, standing. He led Regulus quickly from the room.

“I don’t need watching,” Regulus muttered.

“No comment,” Sirius said in a bright voice. He laughed even as Regulus shoved ineffectually at Sirius’s shoulder.

  


*****

  


_November 3, 1977_

  


Sirius was surprised to find the dorm wasn’t empty when he’d stomped his way all the way up to the Tower. James has said they’d need the morning to finish a few things for the festivities, but apparently Peter wasn’t required for whatever that was. Peter’s head shot up when Sirius entered, but his joyful expression fell almost instantly upon seeing Sirius’s face.

“Was the essay that awful?” Peter asked.

“The essay was _delightful_ ,” Sirius scoffed, throwing his bag on his bed. “The company left much to be desired.”

“Oh,” Peter said. His mouth opened and closed a few times, as if he was searching for words. “… I… James will be a bit still, I think. We could, uh… listen to one of your records?” Sirius shrugged.

“I don’t really want to listen to any of the ones I have,” he said, even while considering which to put on. It was a good idea, actually.

“Oh,” Peter said, looking disheartened. Then he looked up so quickly Sirius worried he’d been hit by a spark hex. “I have an idea! But you can’t tell James.”

“You want to keep a secret from James?” Sirius said, smiling. “Okay, I have to see this then. What can’t James know about?” Peter darted to his trunk and pulled a wrapped gift from a pile of gifts inside. There was no denying it was a record, nor that it was Sirius’s gift which oughtn’t be opened until celebrations were underway.

“You’re giving me your gift early?”

“Well, no,” Peter admitted. “My _idea_ is to offer you to open the gift, then reseal it up after. But it wasn’t mine, ‘cause I didn’t get you a record. It’s from Remus. So we couldn’t tell him either. So. Do you want to open it and listen to this one?”

Sirius thought about it. He didn’t want to disappoint Remus by opening his gift without him knowing, but then again, listening to a new record sounded very tempting. He decided to go for it. The curiosity was already killing him. He carefully removed the wrapping, knowing he’d have to get it back in again, and pulled the record free.

“The Sex Pistols…” Sirius said in awe. “He got me more from the Sex Pistols.”

“Bollocks,” Peter said. Sirius thought Peter had been reading the album title for a minute before he remembered Peter just hated ‘God Save the Queen’. Sirius laughed.

“It was your idea,” Sirius said brightly, setting up the record to play.

“Was it?” a voice said from the door. Sirius looked up and grinned at Remus.

“Well, his idea to give me the choice. But we all knew which choice I’d make.” The song kicked in, playing a new song of familiar incoherence.

“He wasn’t happy!” Peter explained. “He wasn’t happy on his birthday and he needed to be made happy because it’s his birthday!” Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose but Remus laughed.

“Alright, sounds like it was dire. So. I’ll wager you like it,” Remus said, taking a seat on Sirius’s bed.

“So far. It’s another single?” Remus shook his head.

“Their first album. Anarchy is on here again, but so is God Save the Queen. Got it sent up here special, considering it came out in October.”

“You’re not going to tell me how you managed it, are you? How did you even know the album came out while we were up here?”

“I’ll be taking that to my grave,” Remus said with a smile.

“He can open mine, too,” Peter said. “If that will, uh, make up for it.”

“No,” Remus said, shaking his head. “It’s fine. I don’t care when he opens his gift. Not James, wanting some insane, orchestrated celebration. He’s out doing finishing touches, isn’t he? The idiot… Should I ask what put you in a foul mood?”

“No,” Sirius glowered. Remus nodded.

“I can probably guess,” Remus continued, “but I think I’ll leave it. It’s past right? Let’s forget it.”

“Just please,” Peter said. “ _Please_ don’t tell James.”


End file.
